


Twin Missions

by tordarroch



Series: Teacher's Pet [4]
Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Blackwatch Era, Drunk Sex, M/M, Mildly Dubious Consent, Omorashi, Vomiting, Watersports, not in the first chapter but it's going there in the second chapter onward
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-08
Updated: 2018-04-17
Packaged: 2018-11-29 10:46:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 32,552
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11439246
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tordarroch/pseuds/tordarroch
Summary: Jesse and Gabriel are finally alone together outside of the base but they have a mission to complete. However, Jesse seeks to complete a more personal one.





	1. The Journey

**Author's Note:**

> Okay this one is going to have chapters because it would end up being far too long for what I want them to accomplish whilst on mission.

Jesse McCree scowled at the mission briefing on his tablet, his fingers rapidly pushing documents to the side so he could look at the map. “Boss, pardon my French, but what the fuck?” He asked into his headset as he zoomed in on the location, jolting slightly in his seat as the carrier hit some turbulence again. It had been like that since takeoff. Nothing but rain and wind, and it had wreaked havoc on their journey.

He glanced over at his commander, watching as he held onto a handle above him, his form stretched out as he steadied his form long enough to busy himself with a screen mounted on the wall. This was far from the luxury he had imagined when Gabriel had said ‘somewhere exotic’. He hadn’t expected a private jet and a five star hotel or anything but… he had expected more than this. 

“You got a problem, McCree?” Gabriel asked, losing his footing slightly as he turned around, his body swinging as he gripped the rail above him. 

Jesse shrugged, gesturing to the screen. “You said we were goin’ somewhere exotic. Detroit ain’t exotic.”

Gabriel raised his other hand to grab the bar, his body swaying as the turbulence got rougher, and Jesse couldn’t help but stare. After all, it wasn’t often that he had Gabriel stretched out in front of him like this. Usually, it was the other way around… and usually, he was being tortured or some shit. That was just how training was. At least he didn’t make a fool of himself like that stupid fucker Jerry did. 

“Exotic. Definition meaning foreign or strange and unusual,” Gabriel said flatly, his body rocking forward just enough for his jacket to hitch up and take his shirt with it, giving Jesse the smallest peak at his stomach. Yes, he was staring and he didn’t really care at this point. Despite his hang-ups, he was feeling more confident dealing with his crush on his boss. Okay, so he hadn’t dealt with the emotional part yet, but he was coming round to the physical part, and that included stealing glimpses of Gabriel.

“What’s your point?”

Gabriel shot him a small smile. “Well, Detroit is pretty far from Gibraltar, boy. And… I think a city consumed by omnics would be classed as strange or unusual, even for a renegade like yourself,” he mumbled, adjusting his footing. “So, by definition, Detroit is exotic.”

Jesse frowned as he looked up at Gabriel’s face, caught off guard by the playful smile on his lips, and he felt a familiar heat in his cheeks. He didn’t want to call his boss cute. His boss was a highly respected commander of the covert arm of a military organisation, his boss cut an intimidating figure with his height and muscles. His boss enjoyed making men piss themselves and whatever else that entailed. His boss, by definition, was not cute. At least, he hadn’t thought so until Gabriel decided to turn around and be so literal about everything with a smile on his face, 

So, thinking like Gabriel, he could justify thinking his boss was cute. He was endearing. That was basically the same thing, right? He wasn’t 100% certain, but he was comfortable enough in his vocabulary knowledge that he would say it with conviction if he had to.

“Boss, c’mon, I was expectin’ like… Hawaii or somethin’. California at least,” Jesse said, his voice raising as the carrier rattled loudly, Gabriel once again staggering. He was glad that for once, he had listened to his boss when he had told him to ‘sit the fuck down and buckle up’. “Michigan just ain’t what I was thinkin’, y’know?”

Gabriel sighed heavily into his headset, the sound making Jesse flinch. 

“Kid, look, as much as I would like to go on holiday with you to a place where we can sit around all day with our nuts roasting in the sun,” he started, looking up to the roof as he spoke. “Detroit is currently under investigation for… Well, multiple reasons actually. You read the file, right?”

Nodding, Jesse looked down at the tablet again. “Yeah… I mean, I got the gist of it.”

“So you didn’t read it.”

“I said I got the gist of it!”

Gabriel let out another long sigh, lowering one hand to hook a thumb around his belt. Jesse didn’t know whether he was doing it on purpose, but he could see just the slightest slither of skin; the smallest hint of hair, and his mouth was suddenly dry. 

He thought he could do this; thought he would be fine, but now… alone in this carrier… just him and Gabriel. Well, it suddenly dawned on him that he would be alone with the commander for the duration of the mission. Just him and the boss. Together. He hadn’t thought about the real logistics of the situation since their time together at the urinal.

What the fuck was he thinking? Why did he think he could do this?

Sure, the mission was fine, that was easy. It was a simple exchanging of information. They were meet the contact, code name Anya (or that actually might have been her real name, it wasn’t clear from the file). In the event that the contact was unavailable, a dead drop would be arranged within a reasonable radius of the initial contact point. That was all simple enough.

The biggest problem for him was the journey to Detroit, then the night before the meeting, then the morning before the meeting… And so forth. After going through the file more times that he would ever admit, he concluded that if all went according to plan, the actual mission would only take a few hours. The rest of it would be him alone with the commander, discussing the intel and potential uses for the data. 

And of course, him making a complete fool of himself because he couldn’t concentrate because Gabriel made his heart beat so fast and loud that he couldn’t hear anything else. Then there would be the inevitable awkwardness of him trying to talk about what he felt inside; what he wanted to do with Gabriel. Then there would be embarrassment because Gabriel would look at him with those understanding, caring eyes and he would still crumble into a nervous mess because he was that fucked up. 

“Hey, are you listening to me?”

Jesse looked up again, noticing that Gabriel had moved across the carrier, his stomach once again covered by his hooded top. He’d rarely seen him in casuals, but the mission had called for it, not that either of them wore too much armour, but it was nice for them both to not be weighed down by metal and kevlar, although the latter was hardly heavy, just bulky and annoying. Deadlock didn’t care much for that kind of thing, despite being in the arms trade. Actually, now that he thought about it, it was kind of weird that they never really got in any body armour to pass around. Maybe more of them would have survived the missions if they’d concentrated more on defence than offence.... 

“Sorry, I… Look, I know what we’re doing. I read the file. I can only extend my apologies that you think otherwise,” Jesse drawled, taking off his hat to run a hand through his hair, trying to bring himself back to the moment. No use thinking about Deadlock; no use staring at Gabriel. He was on a mission. “I’m jus’ a lil’ distracted,” he admitted before he could stop himself. 

He watched as Gabriel looked away from him, rubbing a hand over his facial hair before he grumbled over the headset, taking a seat across from Jesse. He waited, his eyes trained on his boss as he secured himself into his seat. 

“Talk to me, kid,” Gabriel finally said, his voice softer as he spread his legs, adjusting his jeans and making himself comfortable. “What’s going through your head? You nervous?”

Jesse shrugged, reaching up to adjust his headset before he shoved his hat back on. Did he really want to go into this right now? His eyes nervously shifted to the pilot, but he was in his own world, most likely concentrating on keeping the giant carrier in the air. As far as Jesse knew, he wasn’t given access to their conversation, so he took a deep breath. “Yeah, I’m real nervous,” he admitted. 

Gabriel cleared his throat, leaning forward onto his knees, his large hands gripping the fabric of his own jeans. Those hands… They had done things to him that he couldn’t stop thinking about; not done things he couldn’t stop thinking about. His mind had been working overtime ever since that first time. It had only made everything more intense; everything more confusing for him. He was so content just having a crush on the boss; being infatuated with him… being completely head over heels for him. He was perfectly fine just keeping that shit to himself but then Gabe had to go and… do things to him and now he didn’t know what to do; what to think. 

“Tell me what’s going through your mind,” Gabriel said, each word calm and Jesse felt a heaviness in his chest as he sensed the concern in his voice. 

“It’s not about the mission,” he mumbled, shaking his head. “It’s… look, is this a private channel?”

He watched Gabriel reach up and press a button on the side of his headset, saying something he couldn’t hear before he pressed another. “It is now. Do you want me to sit next to you?”

Jesse shook his head, laughing to himself. “No. Stay there. When you get close…” He took in a deep breath, smiling to himself as he looked down at his feet because he couldn’t believe he was actually going to talk about this. Right here, right now. “It gets me all muddled.”

Gabriel nodded to himself, crossing his arms. “Alright. Talk then. I’ll stay right here.”

He looked down at the ground; at the metal grates, at the rubber mats. Was this really the kind of conversation he wanted to have in a place like this? Hell, he didn’t know. He’d never had this kind of conversation before. Things were never a two way street in Deadlock. It was their way, or the highway… and since they kept bombing the highway every time it was fixed, at the end of the day, all that was left was their way, whether you liked it or not. 

“Sir, I’m gonna ask you this once, ain’t gonna bug you with it again, but I gotta know, you gotta tell it to me straight,” Jesse said into the headset, his voice rising as the plane shuddered. Turbulence again, what great timing. “I need to know what you want from me. I wanna… no, I gotta know… Do you…” He was yelling at this point, one hand holding his headset still as the carrier shook, and all he could see was Gabriel staring over at him, waiting for the question, like he actually wanted to hear what Jesse had to say; like he willing to answer a question he might have. “Do you like me, boss?”

Gabriel let out a small laugh into his headset, smiling over at Jesse before he rubbed his facial hair, his breath heavy in Jesse’s ear; louder than the turbulence now. “Really? You’re asking me if I like you? What are you gonna do next, pass me little love notes or maybe ask me to meet you in the school cafeteria for lunch? We could hold hands,” Gabriel said, a smirk on his face and amusement in his tone of voice.

Jesse wanted to laugh along with him, but the way his stomach was churning prevented him in finding any jest in the situation. “Sir, please, I know it’s a dumb question, I just gotta know for a fact, like I gotta know if you genuinely like me or if y’all is fuckin’ around with me,” he mumbled, his hands sliding to his knees; gripping them tightly as he looked down at the floor again, fixating on the way the rubber of one of the mats was raised. A tripping hazard, probably. He wondered who had signed off on it. No way would Commander Morrison allow standards to slip like this, and he can’t imagine his boss would have allowed it either. The pilot must have given it the okay...

“McCree? You in there?”

“Huh? What?” Jesse mumbled, snapping his head up. 

“I said, yeah, I like you. I don’t say shit for the sake of it, don’t do anything without a reason,” Gabriel said with a raised voice, his eyes fixated on Jesse and he felt like he was in trouble; like he was getting scorned, rather than having Gabriel actually admit his feelings for him. “Don’t make me repeat myself again, boy.”

Jesse felt the carrier shift again, but his world was shook up for another reason. Part of him had hoped the commander was just playing with him, that this was all some game. Then he wouldn’t have to deal with it; deal with any of this. That would have been so much easier. 

However, before he could respond, a crackling interfered with both their headsets and a friendly voice announced their descent into Detroit.


	2. The Hotel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After they arrive at the hotel, it's simply a matter of killing time until the mission can begin.

“I’ll get the bags, you go grab the key and check us in,” was the first thing Jesse heard Gabriel say after they had landed; the first thing he had said to him and not _at_ him. 

They had made a short taxi trip to a shady hotel, shady even by Jesse’s standards but it wasn’t as if he had actually seen any high class hotels on the brief journey. Hell, he hadn’t really seen much of anything. Just rain and concrete. The whole place looked like an industrial wasteland, like the kind of backdrop he’d seen in classic science fiction films. If this was their vision for the future well… that was real fucked up. They were living this now, probably because some big shot director almost two hundred years ago thought the apocalypse was cool. 

Jesse hesitated for a moment as he gazed up at the high rise building. Windows missing or boarded up, much like the other structures in the area. The derelict nature of the whole city made him kinda nostalgic, but not in the good way. Many times had he run missions to similar cities in the south west and been left holed up in one of these hotels, bleeding out, infection setting in but at least he’d done the deed; made the trade; taken the payoff. At least he’d done his job. 

But the bitter nostalgia faded away as he glanced over at Gabriel. He wasn’t alone this time. He had back-up, he had reinforcements and he had someone who gave a shit about him; cared whether he lived or died. This wasn’t like those times. Gabriel wasn’t going to literally stab him in the back and leave him down some alleyway with the rats.

He pushed through the grimy door, making his way to the counter with the usual grin on his face and swagger in his step. “Good afternoon, ma’am,” he drawled, laying eyes on the first human he had seen since they had landed.

The receptionist was the kind of woman Jesse had dealt with a lot in his life. Tired women who were usually just getting by day to day. Liked to do knitting or cross stitch in their free time, and enjoyed a shot of brandy in their coffee just to take the edge off the morning. Probably smoked twenty a day, went to the nail salon once a fortnight, and gave it up to their husband once a month, willingly or not. 

So he knew that a few compliments would go a long way, a pretty smile on a handsome face enough to brighten their day, and sure enough, as he placed a hand on the desk, the receptionist turned, lowering her crossword puzzle book with a scowl on her face that quickly dissipated as she laid eyes on him. 

“Howdy there,” he said, greeting her again, but this time with a wink as he tipped his hat, not ignoring the blush that managed to rise under her mask of make-up. “Got myself a reservation under the name of-” He paused, his eyes flickering down to the yellowing nametag she had on her large chest. “Well, I’ll be damned. Your name is Athena, an’ funnily enough, my bookin’ is under Athena.”

A confused look passed her face before she looked away for a moment, tapping her tablet with her long, fake nails, the diamantés sparkling despite the dim lights. “Huh, well look at that, there is a booking for last name Athena, no given first name,” she mumbled, a look of slight surprise on her face, enough to crinkle up her features. .

“That would be me,” he said with a charming grin, his fingers tapping along the wood. “Or us, I mean,” he mumbled as he gestured behind himself, the sound of Gabriel cursing under his breath painfully audible in the silent lobby. “We’re here for-”

“None of my business,” the woman said with a nod, obviously used to dealing with such things. The look on her face said she knew Gabriel, but neither made an attempt to engage as she placed a small cardkey in a machine before pulling it out and handing it to Jesse. “Twin room. 207. Room with a great view of the dilapidated fast food joint across the way. That is, there will be if the smog and rain lets up, and that’s a big if.” She paused for a moment, sighing. “Hope you brought some vitamin D supplements ‘cause sun is about as likely as me fittin’ into a size 10.”

“C’mon, supermodel like you don’t need to worry ‘bout no numbers,” he said with a wink, taking the keycard and tapping it on the back of his wrist as he looked between Athena and Gabriel before he lowered his voice and leaned over. “You... ain’t got a double you could give me?” He asked, licking his lips slowly as he slid the cardkey back into her hand, their skin touching and he felt the spark from her; saw the lust in her eyes. He knew the effect he could have on women if he tried; if he cared to.

“Hmm, it’s gonna cost you,” she said with a small smile. 

“How much?” He asked, raising an eyebrow. 

“Take two steps back and turn around, your little poncho raised. That’s all. Lemme see what you got back there.”

He snickered a little, shaking his head as he leaned back, a hand on his chin. “You drive a hard bargain,” he mumbled as he took two steps back, lifting the heavy fabric on his shoulders. “An’ it’s a sarape, ma’am.” 

 

-

 

“Argh, did they fuck up the booking again?” Gabriel grunted as he pushed past Jesse to get into the room. “I said twin room, backing onto a fire escape and what do we have?” His voice was loud, louder than it should be for two men who were supposed to be undercover, and he was gesturing at everything in the room, mumbling under his breath about how it was all wrong.

Jesse cleared his throat, kicking the door shut. “... I mean, it got a fire escape boss,” he mumbled, taking his hat off and running a hand through his hair, his body feeling heavy; tired. 

He knew Gabriel was looking at him, but he was suddenly exhausted, like the weight of all the stress and emotions had hit him like a freight train. Probably caused by seeing a bed, a bed that didn’t actually look that bad for such a place. It looked more inviting than his bunk back home, anyway.

Home. 

He shrugged as he made his way to the bed, taking a load off, his hat being discarded on the nightstand, his body sinking into the mattress. Home was where you made it, right? And he’d made it so many places over the years. Calling the Overwatch base home was like a cheap diner saying it had the best coffee in the world - it didn’t mean anything.

“Don’t kick up a fuss ‘bout it, I’m too tired to switch rooms,” he uttered, despite the fact that it was his plan for there to be a double; for them to be forced to shared the same sleeping apparatus. It was his genius plan, but he was starting to regret it. Right now, all he wanted to do was take a nap. He didn’t have the energy or the courage to go through with his plan right now. 

Gabriel seemed to regard him for a moment before he pulled one of the heavy bags onto the rickety coffee table, taking a seat on the sofa, that definitely was not as new as the bed was and had clearly not been cleaned for a very long time, if ever. “Fine, whatever, I’ll take the couch,” Gabriel grumbled, making himself busy with the contents of the bag, pulling out ammunition and checking it, seemingly paying no mind to Jesse, much to his annoyance... or disappointment. 

He wasn’t sure how he had expected Gabriel to act. They were on a mission, it was all business and no play but he thought maybe he would lie down next to him, tell him to budge up to give him room so they could both rest. Then he wouldn’t have to address the elephant in the room that was Gabriel admitting he liked Jesse... or maybe he could, maybe them being comfortable with each other, lying in bed together would give him enough confidence to approach the topic again.

But Gabriel didn’t say another word; didn’t look up from the bag of equipment and Jesse’s heavy lids soon refused to budge. Before he knew it, he was drifting off, the rain pounding at the window drowning out the sounds of whatever Gabriel was doing. 

-

It was late into the evening when Jesse was woken up by Gabriel telling him it was time to eat. However, the only food they had found nearby that was suitable for humans was a run down liquor store on the corner, and all they’d managed to get was a few cup noodles, snacks, some questionable ‘fresh fruit’ and of course, alcohol, before trudging back up to their hotel room, if such a place could really be called a hotel. 

The noodles left a lot to be desired, and it wasn’t long before Gabriel was spread out on the sofa, nursing a whiskey and a half eaten chocolate bar that he seemed unsure as to whether he wanted to finish it or not. 

Jesse, on the other hand, sat on the end of the bed, a glass in his own hand and his boots kicked to one side. He hadn’t quite relaxed as much as his boss, most of his clothes still on, but he didn’t care, he didn’t want to look at himself. After all, Gabriel was staring at the ceiling, so it left him the perfect opportunity to just take in the image of Gabriel wearing boxers and a tight t-shirt, both black. It was weird when he thought about what they had done, but this was really his first time seeing his boss like this. 

Everyone thought he was living in the commander’s pocket, that he was the favourite but in reality, he didn’t get to spend any extra time with the boss. Not really. He slept in the same kind of bunk as everyone else, ate the same rations. The only reason Gabriel gave him attention and praise during training was literally because he was better than everyone else. 

Okay, maybe that attitude was why the other recruits had a problem with him.

Then there was the fact that Gabriel had given him a blow job. And a hand job. He ran his eyes up and down Gabriel’s body, his eyes lingering on the bulge in his boxers, only drifting to admire the large muscles that strained against his t-shirt. Yeah, those two things… and the hand job he had given to Gabriel in the toilet. All of those things strangely involving piss but hey, at least the other recruits only thought they were fucking. That was better than them knowing that he and Gabriel seemed to be involved in some kind of weird fetish thing. 

Jesse still didn’t understand exactly what it all was. He just knew it made his body hot, his mind fuzzy and his dick hard.

“Are you gonna gawk at me all night, kid, or are you gonna tell me what’s on your mind,” Gabriel said, exhaling heavily through his nose as he adjusted himself on the sofa, taking a small sip of his drink. “I mean, I don’t really care either way, just hope my balls aren’t hanging out or something,” he mumbled, glancing down before shrugging. 

“I uh,” Jesse started, but stopped, downing his drink before letting out a shaky breath. He could ask about Gabriel liking him, an obvious and easy. Mission talk was also simple. There were a million topics he had wanted to talk about with Gabriel since the moment he had met him. His past, his present, his family, his friends. Then there were more technical questions about his skills and career. But despite the millions of questions he had that could have led to him getting to know the boss, only one came out and he knew he was making a mistake as soon as the first word came out his mouth but he couldn’t stop it.

“So what’s the deal with piss?”

If he could have got down on his knees and prayed for God to take those words back, he would have but he’d realised a long time ago that no one could save him from himself and that deities did not lend favours to people like him. So all he could do was flop back, his forearm over his face as he tried to hide the embarrassment from asking such a stupid question, one that would most likely result in Gabriel either getting another room or pissing on him.

And it wasn’t that the latter wasn’t appealing to him right now. Hell, he’d do anything to get his foot back in the door with the commander, and if that was how he had to go about it, then so be it. It was just his mind begged for reason; begged for logic. He did want to know what the deal was with Gabriel and why all their encounters had involved piss but he hadn’t wanted to approach the topic like this but his lips always moved so quickly after a couple of drinks, and having his commander in such close proximity didn’t help. He just found Gabriel’s company so intoxicating. 

He heard a deep chuckle, the sound of a glass being placed on a table and then the rustling of fabric. He didn’t move, didn’t sit up. What was the point? He couldn’t face his boss right now. 

And his lack of action was rewarded when he heard Gabriel take in a deep breath.

“Well, I haven’t always been into it,” Gabriel started, and Jesse shifted slightly, resisting the urge to jump off the bed and scoot forward like a child during story-time. “I discovered the uh, what would you call it, kink? Yeah, I realised it was kinda hot when I was sporting blue. Back in the day, you know? I was on a mission. Jack was busy doing something with Ana, and Reinhardt had practically dragged me into the chopper for some bullshit expedition. I was nursing a bit of a hangover from trying to drink him under the table the previous night. In retrospect, us teaming up was probably some kind of payback for me having the nerve to challenge him. I lost, if that wasn’t clear.”

Jesse found himself slowly rising up, his head cocked to one side as he looked over at the commander. He seemed so… relaxed. He hadn’t really moved, was still lying on his back, stretched out perfectly atop the disgusting couch. He didn’t think the question would get an answer but here he was, actually being told a story by Blackwatch Commander Reyes, a treat he doubted many had ever experienced, and Jesse found himself hanging on the end of every word that came out in that rich velvet voice.

“Anyway…”

-

They had been under heavy fire for what felt like an eternity to Gabriel Reyes. He wasn’t used to this kind of front line action. Sure, he had no problems getting up close and personal with a few people, but an entire army? Not his idea of fun. After all, his armour did only so much to protect him from the new bullets that seemed to have been developed overnight, and he didn’t have a literal giant shield he could pull out of his ass like his mission partner did. 

Not that it did them much good. As soon as Reinhardt had put it up and Gabriel had lined up a shot, the barrier was destroyed and they were forced back into the makeshift trench they had found. The only way they were still alive was probably the quick thinking by his partner: leave the armour as a distraction and seek shelter.

With no alternative, they had called for evacuation, but that had been over an hour ago and no sign of help seemed in the vicinity. 

Jack would have a field day with this if they made it out of here. 

He let out a long sigh, adjusting himself, his body pressed firmly against Reinhardt’s massive frame. Even without his giant suit, he still cut a sizeable figure and he was taking up more of the trench than Gabriel was comfortable with.

But he couldn’t complain. They were alive. 

For now.

It hadn’t flown past his radar how quiet Reinhardt had been since they had properly buckled down to wait it out. He had assumed it was because of their situation, but after a moment of observing his partner, he noticed something was amiss. He seemed restless; a little flushed and fidgety. 

“Evac ready in ten minutes, be prepared,” came Ana’s voice over the radio and he could hear the smirk in her voice. 

“I cannot wait that long,” Reinhardt whispered with a huff, shaking his head, and before Gabriel could respond; before he could say anything, he watched as Reinhardt nonchalantly looked away, letting out a small sigh of relief. He hadn’t realised what had happened, it hadn’t even occurred to him to investigate the big guy’s behaviour until he felt a dampness against his thigh.

Then it hit him and he found himself looking everywhere but at Reinhardt. The wetness seeped into his own trousers, warming the front of his crotch and he felt his body react; felt his dick harden and his body temperature rise, despite the coldness in the air. He shifted, tried to ignore it but each movement of his own was met by a slight shifting from Reinhardt and their bodies ended up closer than before.

There was no way that Reinhardt couldn’t feel his reaction but he wasn’t saying anything, wasn’t even trying to make eye contact. Clearly he wanted to ignore the situation as much as Gabriel did. After all, Gabriel didn’t know why the hell his body was responding like this. He’d never had anyone piss on him before, never even really thought about it and had certainly never thought he could have been aroused by it. He didn’t want to try and explain himself right now, in a ditch whilst it rained bullets a few feet away from their trench. 

-

“So Reinhardt just… pissed himself…” Jesse drawled, an amused tone to his voice. “Just like, right in front of you an’ all?”

“Hey, we’re soldiers and at the end of the day he needed to go; was more of a liability with a full bladder. He was completely unashamed about it but it compromised me on some level. Just that warmth; that wetness. It did something to me, awoke something inside and I felt so disgusting, like… I knew for a fact that Reinhardt could feel my boner,” Gabriel said with a laugh, shaking his head before looking over at Jesse. “I fucking just adjusted myself and acted like no big deal, Reinhardt did the same.”

“And that was the end of that?” 

Gabriel slid his body around, pouring himself another drink as he ran a hand over his facial hair. “Well…” He paused, looking over at Jesse and shaking the bottle, a mischievous smile briefly on his lips before he spoke again. “You want another drink?”

Jesse regarded him for a second, debating the question. He always wanted more alcohol, but around Gabriel? Maybe not… But… He found himself sliding off the bed and stepping over, glass in hand, holding it out for a top up. His thirst for something strong always won over he protests from his liver and brain. 

“So, you want to tell me something similar? We can make this like a real sleepover. Exchange secrets, braid each other’s hair, do each other’s nails,” Gabriel mumbled as he raised the bottle to Jesse’s glass, not missing the chance to look up at him, their eyes meeting as the alcohol flowed and Jesse found himself lost for a second. This was… so weird to him. He’d never really been this casual with anyone; let his guard down this much. 

He turned away with a nod, slowly starting to pace around the room as Gabriel made himself comfortable again.

The atmosphere had changed. Jesse couldn’t put his finger on it, but it felt different; more relaxed, more casual. He was starting to feel at ease, that maybe he could open up to Gabriel but about what, he wasn’t certain. He had so many stories, so many memories and most of them were bad. He didn’t want to dampen the mood, after all, Gabriel’s story had been more amusing than anything, a story of a first time and Gabriel’s embarrassment had made him seem so much warmer than he was on the base. 

Or maybe it was the environment that had taken the edge off the commander. Maybe being away from all the hustle and bustle of Overwatch and Blackwatch was good for him. He knew it was good for himself, he thought as he took a sip of his drink, the familiar burn of the cheap liquor reminding him of one of the good moments he’d had in Deadlock. 

He moved over to the window, pushing it open before taking a seat on the sill, resting the glass between his knees as he dug into his pockets, trying to find his cigarettes. “Y’know what, I’ll tell ya one of my secrets… well, more a story about myself, if you wanna lend an ear,” he drawled, finally fishing out a cigarette and placing it between his lips, glancing over at Gabriel. 

The fact Gabriel was staring at him threw him off. He was waiting for his boss to chastise him for smoking in the hotel room; waiting for him to say that he wasn’t interested in hearing anything Jesse had to say but instead, Gabriel simply shot him a small smile and picked his glass up, reclining back onto the sofa again. “Yeah, alright,” Gabriel replied as he cleared his throat, using his free hand to adjust his boxers before he settled it on his stomach and Jesse couldn’t help but wish he was closer to the commander right now; wished he could lie down next to him on the sofa and just be next to him. 

It was a stupid thought, he knew that. He couldn’t even deal with talking to Gabriel about them, or well… the possibility of them. Now they were just exchanging stories and getting drunk and where would that lead? He couldn’t let anything stupid happen, not now, not on the first night of their mission. No matter how he felt, or how he thought that Gabriel felt, he couldn’t let that get in the way of the job they were doing. 

He rolled his eyes, lighting his cigarette and taking a long drag before he turned his attention to the view outside but luckily the lack of a view stopped his mind from wandering; helped him remember where they were. This wasn’t a holiday; it was a mission and everything was a test; every situation was just a way for Gabriel to test his abilities, he knew this, it had been drilled into him countless times before leaving. That meant that this very scenario could be a test and Gabriel was grading him in his head. Hell, that shit on the plane could have been a test too. 

Shaking his head, he exhaled. No, there had to be downtime. This was that. Gabriel was relaxing and he needed to do the same before Gabriel started to get concerned about him or told him off for overthinking things. After taking a sip of his drink, he let out a small sigh and turned his attention back to Gabriel. “Okay, so let me tell you about the very first person I fell in love with.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> did u know u can follow me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/torraroch) where i don't talk about anything interesting but you _can_ do that.


	3. The First Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jesse talks about the first person he fell in love with, and Gabriel listens.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this took me so long. i literally did it 5 times. that means there are scenes from 4 deleted chapter 3s. i'll probably post at least one of the scenes as a separate fic in the future. as usual, all mistakes are my own because i'm shite.

Jesse took a long drag on his cigarette, tapping the ash out of the window as he stretched his limbs. One leg inside the room, resting atop a battered side table; the other hanging out the window, his foot occasionally brushing against the metal of the fire escape as it swung. He didn’t mind the weather; didn’t care that half of his body was now damp. There was something nostalgic about it, the sensation taking him back to the many times he had chased rain clouds around the Mojave desert, finding a fleeting delight in the way he could dart in and out of rain. 

But he wasn’t here to tell stories of the simple pleasures he found during his time in Deadlock and he could already sense Gabriel becoming more bored with every silent moment that passed.

“I’m gonna make it clear now that I’m young an’ stupid, and obviously I'm not as experienced in the ways of the worlds as you are,” he started, glancing over at Gabriel as he spoke, expecting him to be distracted but instead, he was met with an intense gaze; the kind that implied that Gabriel actually _wanted_ to hear the story. 

That was one thing he needed to get used to, on top of everything else. He was so used to being ignored and dismissed, and Gabriel had really been the first person who had ever given him time to explain himself. Maybe that was why he had developed feelings for his boss. His ability to extend his care and consideration to Jesse, no matter how much of a little shit he was. 

Assuming his crush on Gabriel was because of how he was, rather than what he was, well… it was easier. He didn’t have to think about the literal attraction he had towards another man. When he dwelt on that, he was left with a feeling of unease and insecurity, and he ended up hating himself a little more than usual. 

Shaking his head, he took in a deep breath, turning his attention to the outside world again. “There was, or more like is, this guy…who’s stupidly good looking and older than me, not by a lot, but by enough for me to mention his age,” he mumbled, glancing down at the cigarette held between his two fingers. “I ain’t sure, I’m no good at tellin’ stories like you are,” he said as he tapped the ash onto the fire escape and took another drag.

“You haven’t even tried yet,” Gabriel said, and Jesse found himself looking over at him again. He expected him to look annoyed; irritated, but instead he was simply nursing his drink, a contented expression on his features. 

Jesse sighed, flicking his cigarette out the window before he made his way over to the sofa, hesitating as soon as Gabriel pulled his legs up, leaving a free space for Jesse. He hated himself for it, but he found himself sitting on the arm of the chair, waving his hand. ”No,” he whispered, staring down at the unoccupied seat. “I’m alright sittin’ here,” 

With a shrug, Gabriel spread his legs out again in a way that made Jesse curse inside his mind. He found it hard enough to be around Gabriel back on base, but here? In a place where they were alone? Whilst Gabriel lounged around, looking effortlessly sexy in his boxers and undershirt? He wasn’t used to seeing his boss like this, and it gave him something worse than a physical reaction. Deep inside, it gave him hope that maybe Gabriel and himself could be more, could have a normal relationship and be like this on a regular basis.

But he knew that was stupid. Gabriel had already expressed his disinterest in being with anyone in a romantic sense, and Jesse knew he had too many hang ups. Whilst he believed that Gabriel would be patient and understanding with him, he knew there would be a limit. There always was; always had been, always would be. 

“Anyway, as I was sayin’,” Jesse started again, clearing his throat. “Older guy, which is really weird ‘cause I like women, an’ I fuck women, have only ever fucked women,” he mumbled, biting the inside of his lip. “Well, like, I’ve thought about dudes before but… in Deadlock, you didn’t do that shit. You didn’t fall in love in Deadlock, regardless of anything, you just didn’t. So fallin’ in love with a guy woulda been like….”

Gabriel raised an eyebrow, taking another sip of his drink. “Wait, is this one of the stories where I, as your boss, should potentially refer you to a therapist?”

The question caught Jesse off guard and he hesitated because he was certain he needed a therapist for a lot of reasons but he didn’t have time for it; didn’t have the energy to change. “Uh… I mean, not for this… part. It wasn’t in Deadlock… it was here. I mean, in Blackwatch.”

He knew he was mumbling; knew his voice had gone quiet but as he finished the sentence, he could almost feel the silence. He watched from the corner of his eye as Gabriel poured himself a fresh drink. 

Taking that as a sign to continue, he took in a deep breath. 

“Well, as I was sayin’... Blackwatch. I wanna say it was love at first sight, but it was more than that. Sure, when I saw him, I got this primal reaction an’ I hated myself so much for it. I was still thinkin’ like a Deadlock rebel, but no matter what, I couldn’t get rid of the thoughts. I thought about him way too much, an’ I jus’ couldn’t stop. Every time he spoke to me… every word was…” He exhaled, shrugging to himself. “You get the gist. I mean, it’s love, I’ve read ‘bout it enough, seen it enough in movies but… to actually feel it is a bit overwhelming.”

Gabriel cleared his voice, and Jesse turned his head, gazing upon his boss and there it was again; that burning feeling, what he assumed was love; what he was certain was love.

“So is that why you revert back to your Deadlock bullshit? The attitude?” Gabriel asked, and Jesse found himself nodding in response because like always, Gabriel had hit the nail on its head. He didn’t even need Jesse to say he was talking about him; he knew because that was just the kind of guy Gabriel Reyes was. He assumed a lot, but he was always correct. Maybe he only assumed when he was correct, which would mean he was correct most of the time… which to Jesse seemed also like a very Gabriel Reyes thing.

He sucked his lower lip into his mouth, another shrug on his shoulders. “Boss, I just ain’t sure how to process anythin’... When I started feelin’ all this shit about you, I hid from it. Then I got angry about it.”

Gabriel let out a low chuckle, cocking his head to one side. “Kid, no offence, but you still seem pretty angry about it.”

“I ain’t a man of many emotions, alright? I’m still stuck on the angry part, but it’s turnin’ into fear and sadness,” Jesse admitted, pinching the bridge of his nose as he inhaled deeply. “I jus’... Listen Gabe, I know you’re probably just thinkin’ this could just be a crush, or a casual thing or a quick fuck, but I need you to know that I’m in love with you, an’ that’s why I just… can’t do anythin’ too… intimate with you… This piss stuff makes it so easy to stop myself from thinkin’ about us too much. I can dismiss you as some weirdo who just wants to piss on me, it’s easy. That’s not unlike the shit guys did to each other in Deadlock.”

“Jesse-”

“No no, let me fuckin’ finish…” Jesse mumbled, wiping his still dry eyes, although how he wasn’t crying already was beyond him. “I need you to know what I’m feelin’, Gabe. I know it’s not right given the situation, an’ I know you don’t wanna date me, an’ I can accept that, I just can’t give you anythin’ intimate in such a casual way. Bein’ with a man is just so fuckin’ weird for me; so wrong in my mind, an’ I ain’t ‘bout to work through that just for you to ditch me as soon as a hotter recruit comes along, y’know?”

“Jesse-” Gabriel tried again, only for Jesse to wave him away. 

“I said let me fuckin’ finish!” He snapped, glaring slightly only for his gaze to soften almost instantly because he couldn’t look at Gabriel like that; not right now. “I can’t go through even more shit. I can’t deal with no more insecurities. I spend half my time worrying about you gettin’ rid of me, an’ the other half worrying about you being with me. Do you know how that feels?”

Just as Gabriel began stumbling over the first line of his response, a shrill ringing interrupted him and his voice was quickly drowned out by the sound of the phone and Gabriel’s frantic movements. He simply watched, a strange feeling in his stomach. Was it fate or simply just a badly timed phone call? Whatever it was, Gabriel had been stopped mid sentence, and in the break from having his full attention, Jesse felt himself sober up just enough for everything to set in.

Had he really just said all that to Gabriel? Not only had he said he loved him but… Had he really told Gabriel Reyes, his boss and mentor, to ‘let him fucking finish’ speaking? Why couldn’t he just have shut up and seduced Gabriel or something? Why did he think he could string a sentence together that was to represent a lifetime of lies and insecurity after a few drinks? Why did he even had to go and bring his feelings up anyway? Why did he even think about feelings? Why did he even feel them?

If he’d forgotten about those, he could have been fucking Gabriel into the mattress weeks ago, maybe months… maybe even years. 

Jesse shook his head, letting out a small laugh as he slid off the arm of the sofa and grabbed his own holdall, hoisting it onto the bed. He should end this night; sober up and start again tomorrow. Gabriel was already deep in conversation with whoever had called the mission phone, so he took his opportunity to grab his washbag and disappear into the bathroom. 

-

Jesse wasn’t sure what to expect when he stepped into the bathroom. If he had to make a list of everything he expected to be in a bathroom, he was certain that a door would be on it, as well as a toilet seat and shower curtain. He made a mental note to mention it to the receptionist on the way out tomorrow. For now, he just wanted to sleep. He felt uncomfortable to the point of feeling nauseous. 

He slipped off his jeans and kicked them out of the bathroom, his shirt accompanying them soon after. Flicking the light on, he was slightly shocked by his appearance. So rarely did he look in the mirror, that he found himself running his hands over his bare skin as he stared back at his reflection. 

He had always been a cocky guy, the kind to toot his own horn, and he knew he was attractive; he wasn’t insecure about that. But under the skin? He hated everything he was. He hated how stupid he could be, despite having a decent brain in his head. He hated how he spoke, hated the words he used, but he hadn’t noticed how much he disliked about himself until he had fallen for Gabriel. Just to see such an intelligent, successful and confident man was enough to destroy his self esteem.

Yet, at the same time, this man who was amazing in every way in Jesse’s mind, had openly said he liked Jesse. This man who could probably get anyone he wanted, had decided that out of everyone else he could have had… he had picked Jesse… kind of but when he thought about that more, he remembered how it was Gabriel who had made the first move. 

How long had Gabriel felt something for him? Gabriel liked him, had admitted that so openly on the aircraft. However, even knowing that, he didn’t feel any less insecure. 

He tilted his head to the side, tugging at the skin on his stomach and he couldn’t help but notice how much less slack there was now than when he’d joined Blackwatch.

They kept him well. Good food; okay company. They actually gave him a bed that was all his, and a lockable foot locker, and hell, he knew that after doing enough missions, they’d give him his own room which meant no more having to share with guys who felt the need to mess with him on a daily basis just because he was good at what he did. They were nothing compared to what it was like in Deadlock, hell, what they were doing was no more than friendly banter by comparison. 

But he knew he risked it all by developing these feelings for his boss. There was no way they would allow the well respected Blackwatch Commander to date not only a recruit, but a criminal. Would Gabriel protect him if they were discovered? Or would he kick him to the curb? 

And now he was just blurting it all out at him and what did he expect? That Gabriel would turn around and say _“Oh yeah Jesse, I love you too.”_ He’d already said he ‘liked’ Jesse, he didn’t want to push his luck on semantics. Even if he did that; even if Gabriel did say he loved him… The idea was enough to make him feel sick as he thought about losing his job; about giving everyone else that smug feeling of being correct when they find out that he was fucking Gabriel. He and Gabriel both knew that he was achieving these results by himself, but if people heard, they would easily jump to conclusions just like he was doing now.

Shaking his head, he pulled his toothbrush from his toiletries bag. He needed to just go to sleep; say that it was the alcohol talking. Hell, there was a chance he wouldn’t even remember this conversation. He had been less drunk and forgotten stuff. 

“Hey, Jesse,” came a warm voice, and Jesse realised he had spaced out. How long had he been staring at himself? He turned to look at the doorway, a nervous smile on his face. 

“Hey, hey, hey,” he said, shaking his head and turning his attention back to the sink, starting the water and waiting. It did come out relatively clean, but he didn’t mind; he’d brushed his teeth in far worse and his teeth had never been high on his priority list until he’d come to Blackwatch and been ordered to maintain a level of personal hygiene. “Hey. Gabe. Hey.”

“Yeah, you’ve said that five times now,” Gabriel whispered, taking slow steps into the room, like he was approaching a wild animal. “Listen, kid, I never wanted you to.. I don’t know, you’re assuming so much, and you have to understand that this is a lot for me to process.”

Jesse stared down a his toothbrush, blindly trying to find the toothpaste only to have it handed to him by Gabriel and then he felt it again as their skin touched; that small spark that was enough to cause his face to heat up. He felt so stupid; so childish. 

“Well shit, I’m sorry, I thought a guy with all those medals and certificates would be able to understand the shit a simpleton like me spews out,” Jesse grumbled, his attitude returning as he started to feel like a fool. He knew his attitude was just an embarrassingly obvious defence mechanism. 

“Jesse, c’mon, don’t be like this. I’m open for conversation here,” Gabriel said, trying to get his attention by making eye contact with him in the mirror, and Jesse couldn’t help but look back. It felt less real to look at him in the reflection than in the flesh. 

“You're real talkative tonight,” he found himself saying as he coated the bristles of his toothbrush with toothpaste, shoving it into his mouth as he raised an eyebrow. “I swear, you've said more to me tonight than you've said since I arrived at Overwatch.”

Gabriel shrugged, moving behind Jesse, and he felt his entire body tense up as Gabriel placed his hands on Jesse’s waist to move around him and get to the socket. He watched as Gabriel took a shaver out of the washbag, and he saw a confused look creep onto his face until he realised that Gabriel had put his own toiletries in Jesse’s washbag. Probably to save space, he told himself before Gabriel started to speak. “We don't exactly spend much downtime together.”

Jesse nodded, casting his gaze back to looking at himself in the mirror. “Is that something you'd be interested in?” He replied, trying to sound casual but his red cheeks gave him away. 

“What? Spending more time with you outside of our roles?” Gabe asked, and Jesse could feel his gaze on him but he didn't humour it and Gabriel soon returned his attention back to the shaver. “Sure, I mean, in an ideal world I would have met you in a coffee shop or something, and we'd go on dates to restaurants and the movies and it would be real good… but that's not the hand we've been dealt, and instead this is what we have.”

Jesse couldn't help but laugh, both at the situation and the idea of going on some kind of normal date with Gabriel. He couldn't imagine talking to the commander over a chai latte as soft jazz played in the background. “Well, I guess we swapped the cappuccinos for piss,” Jesse said with a small chuckle, exhaling slowly. “I dunno boss, I don't think we would have found each other in such a life.”

“Why? You think you could do better than me in the real world?” Gabriel asked, smirking at him as he leaned forward slightly and started to shave off the stubble under his chin that had grown over the past couple of days. Jesse had opinions about Gabriel’s facial hair, but it was never anything he could ever say. He liked it when his neat facial hair grew out and was just a little messy; scruffy even. Those periods never lasted long, but every time it occurred, Jesse paid extra attention to his boss. 

But now he had the chance to see the transformation, his mind was trying to answer that loaded question, and he took a moment to dwell on it, wondering whether to joke or not. 

“Well, sees now in the real world, I'd have been thrown in a cell and left to rot. Ain't no version of my start of life that don't have me joining a gang or bein’ a criminal,” he admitted with a sad tone. “An’ I think you… if you weren't in Blackwatch, or Overwatch…or any military shit. Yeah, I don’t think you would have even given me a second look. Unless you were like, my lawyer. You're a smart guy, wouldn't rule that out.”

He heard Gabriel laugh and he couldn’t help but break out into a smile, feeling comfortable enough to find Gabriel's laugh infectious. “You really think I'd be a lawyer? Honestly? “

Jesse lolled his head to the side, smirking as he held the toothbrush from between his teeth, a small amount of white drool escaping his mouth. “You are into shady shit, and if I remember rightly, you're the one that cut me the sweet deal to be in Blackwatch instead of jail,” he said as he spat the toothpaste out and rinsed his toothbrush off, going to place it back in the bag but thinking twice. They wouldn’t be leaving here for a few days. He could just leave it by the basin. 

He reached down, hesitating for a moment before resting it on the questionably clean basin. A little too clean, like it had been bleached. Given the state of the hotel, his mind went straight to the possibility that the whole bathroom had been bleached to get rid of blood stains. That would explain the lack of shower curtain… didn’t explain the missing toilet seat though. 

“Hmm, well, it’s true,” Gabriel murmured, tilting his head back to inspect, but he paused to reach over to Jesse’s face in the mirror, his thumb swiping the toothpaste from the side of his mouth. “I would do the same again if I had to. I need you to know this; to understand it,” he said as he stared at Jese in the mirror, sucking his thumb into his mouth before he went back to inspecting his facial hair,

Jesse glanced at Gabriel in the mirror, a little dumbfounded by what he had just done, but he had gone back to tending to his personal hygiene like he hadn’t done anything; said anything. He didn’t understand how Gabriel could just say and do these things so easily; so confidently when the potential of these words and actions meant so much to him. “I don’t want to shit on you here but-”

Gabriel let out another short laugh and Jesse couldn’t help but roll his eyes. “Kid, I’m into piss not-”

“You know what I fuckin’ meant,” Jesse said with another roll of his eyes. “You know what, bringin’ that up again, you said that it was your first time really dealin’ with that. Reinhardt and stuff?” He said, giving Gabriel enough time to correct him in any way before he continued. “You ever… y’know… with a woman? Like, obviously as a gay dude, you ain’t fuckin’ women but I’m talking about jus’ lettin’ one piss on you. You ever… done that? Or is it just guys that you want to piss on you?”

Yet again, another laugh and Gabriel lowered the shaver, switching it off as he turned to look at Jesse, leaning against the counter as he stared. “You assume I’m gay and that I’ve never been with a woman.”

Jesse mimicked Gabriel, leaning with his hip against the counter. “Well I didn’t say you’d _never _been with a woman but I mean, you’re the one who sucked my dick so eagerly, I just assumed from the evidence I’ve been given.”__

__“Hmm, but you forget,” Gabriel said in a low voice, taking a step towards him and Jesse felt his body temperature rise. “That’s the exact opposite of what I’ve been teaching you. You’re supposed to think about things deeper. Take what you already know, and add it to probable variables and come to a more precise conclusion, despite not knowing anything for certain.” Jesse shifted a little, his heart beating faster as Gabriel took another step closer. “So tell me your assumptions using such means.”_ _

__“Uh… is this a test, sir?” He asked, his voice quiet because it felt like a test; felt like the kind of situation where Gabriel was his boss but the way he leaned in said another thing entirely._ _

__“Mhm, if you get the question right, I’ll reward you with another story. You’ll get to learn more about me. People always love learning more about me, I’m just that goddamn interesting,” he said with a playful tone, placing one hand on Jesse’s waist and moving past him again and he couldn’t help but yearn for much more than such a fleeting touch._ _

__Jesse turned his head, letting out a sigh. “Boss, I know you’re being sarcastic, but I like hearin’ about you, even if it is just some dirty story about your younger years.”_ _

__Gabriel lingered by the door, letting out a laugh again and Jesse was certain he had never seen a man laugh so genuinely so many times because of something he was saying, instead of something he was._ _

__“Hey, I wasn’t being that sarcastic. If you can tell me five reasons for why you think I’ve never been with a woman, then I will consider your point and tell you whether you’re right or wrong,” he said, leaning against the doorframe._ _

__Jesse sucked his lower lip into his mouth as he thought over what he knew about the commander, what he had learnt both today and in the past. He moved into the doorway, but Gabriel didn’t shift, so he simply lingered, enjoying their how close their bodies were in such a small space. Nothing to read into, he thought to himself, he could be comfortable in such close proximity. He didn’t need to get scared or nervous._ _

__Running his hand over his bare chest, he let out a long breath. “Well… Uh, I mean, two reasons would be the two times you and I…”_ _

__Gabriel let out another laugh; a softer laugh, running his hand over his chin, a few small hairs falling down. “Don’t you mean three?”_ _

__“Nah, third time I instigated it,” Jesse said with a wave of his hand and Gabriel mumbled ‘of course’ under his breath before gesturing for him to continue. “And then… I dunno, the way you are with Jack. The way you are with Ana. The way you are with me. There, five reasons.”_ _

__Raising his eyebrow, Gabriel stared at Jesse for a moment before shaking his head. “So, you’ve based this so-called fact on me wanting to fuck you, and maybe some sexual tension between Strike Commander Morrison and myself? And what about the way I am with Captain Amari?” He let out a long sigh, running his hand over the short hair on his head. “Your reasoning is really, and I’m not dicing my words here or giving you any special treatment, alright… Your reasoning is shit.”_ _

__And with that, he turned and left the bathroom, loudly snorting in a way that made Jesse want to follow him, but the way he turned off the lights as he moved made it seem like the conversation was over, but Jesse couldn’t bring himself to care. He didn’t want to go to sleep on such a stupid note. He’d laid his feelings on the line and this conversation was just not what he expected._ _

__“Hey, c’mon, I’m a bit drunk and I ain’t exactly had much of anything from you to base anything on,” Jesse said, not considering his words as they flowed, and it was only as Gabriel stopped and flopped down on the sofa that he realised he might have said something wrong._ _

__He watched as Gabriel spread himself out again, his limbs hanging off the sofa in an unflattering way, but Jesse couldn’t help but let his mind wander as he slowly moved into the room. Swallowing hard, he sat on the edge of the bed, trying not to seem too obvious that he was staring._ _

__Gabriel yawned in an obnoxious manner, his limbs going taut and his shirt riding up higher than before, and Jesse knew he had been spotted, that this show was for him, but he couldn’t help but indulge himself._ _

__“I’m gonna ask you a counter question,” Gabriel started, rolling onto his side and resting his head on the arm of the sofa. “When you make the assumption that I have never been with a woman, you mean in the strictest, most biblical sense, right?”_ _

__Jesse was the one to laugh this time and he tore his eyes from Gabriel to lie down, sliding under the covers despite the strange humidity that was presumably caused by the pollution, and not the idyllic weather of Michigan but he liked being under the duvet; enjoyed that feeling of safety provided by the weight of it._ _

__“I mean, yeah, I guess. What other way do you mean? Like I know what I mean when I say I’ve fucked someone,” Jesse clarified, adjusting himself under the covers._ _

__He managed to see Gabriel roll his eyes just before he settled down, Gabriel’s figure mostly obscured by his feet at the end of the bed. If he couldn’t see Gabriel, then Gabriel probably couldn’t see him. He didn’t know how he looked when he slept, but he could only assume that it probably wasn’t too cute._ _

__“Seriously kid, you have so much to learn,” Gabriel muttered, shifting on the sofa, reaching onto the back to pull down the blanket. “But not tonight. Get some rest, I can’t have you hungover tomorrow.”_ _

__Jesse rolled onto his side, looking down at the end of the bed and he could just about see his boss; his face occasionally lit up by the flashing neon outside but Gabriel was right. They needed to sleep; Jesse more so than Gabriel. He hadn’t slept well due to nerves concerning being alone with Gabriel._ _

__Now that he was here though, alone in a hotel room with him… It felt good. Yes, there were a number of feelings that he wished he wasn’t experiencing, but it was a lot easier than he had anticipated. The bed plan hadn’t gone the way he had wanted, but he wasn’t even sure if he would have been able to sleep in the same bed as his boss. He was getting distracted enough thinking about Gabriel sleeping a few metres from him._ _

__-_ _

__A cleverly timed clap of thunder awoke Jesse before dawn. The weather had erupted into heavy rain and even he could feel the slight chill on the air; one he wasn’t used to. Breaking out in goosebumps on his arms, his body hair stood upright, and he instinctively wrapped himself in the duvet a little tighter; the unexpected softness warming his body._ _

__Unfortunately, the sound of rain running down the windows taunted him, and an overwhelming thirst took over his mind. He didn’t have a glass of water near him and he knew the closest drink to him was a bottle of water he’d left on the coffee table so with great reluctance, he slid out of the bed, cursing under his breath as the cold air slapped him._ _

__It was only then he saw the main reason for the offensive temperature._ _

__“I’m a fuckin’ idiot,” he mumbled to himself as he shuffled over to the window, closing it with a grumble. Yes, that was his fault, but Gabriel hadn’t said anything either. Gabriel seemed to feel the cold more than himself, so why hadn’t he said anything?_ _

__Did he think Jesse liked to sleep with the window open?_ _

__He didn’t care either way, but then again, he’d never had a window to call his own; never had the choice between open and closed._ _

__He cast his gaze to Gabriel as he made his way back to the table and he was unable to resist crouching down beside the sofa, his line of sight glued to Gabriel’s face. This was the first time he had ever seen the commander look so calm; so vulnerable, and he felt an ache in his chest, the kind he’d never experienced until he met Gabriel; the kind of physical yearning that got stuck in his throat as he tried to breath and almost suffocated him._ _

__Despite his nerves and gut instinct, Jesse couldn’t stop himself for reaching out to touch his face. He wasn’t sure what reaction he was expecting, but he was still surprised when Gabriel simply leaned towards the hand, letting out a small noise._ _

__Jesse swallowed hard, trying to calm himself as he lowered his hand from his boss’ face. Hesitating for a moment, he watched as Gabriel’s chest rose and fell slowly before moving his hand, gliding it over the one arm Gabriel had left exposed and he was suddenly struck with the realisation that he was touching him in such a casual way; that he was actually _alone_ with Gabriel. _ _

__“Boss,” he whispered as he placed his hand on Gabriel’s hip, shaking him slightly.. If he could have it his way, he would grab his pillow and sleep on the floor so he could just watch him sleep longer… but he could see the way Gabriel slightly shivered. He had to wake him up, give him an extra blanket or something or…_ _

__He glanced over at the bed before he heard Gabriel stir. Jesse knew he shouldn’t crouch so close; should give Gabriel some space and not be the first thing he woke up to, but he was captivated by the gentle way his boss fluttered his eyelids, the way he darted out his tongue to moisten his lips, but refused to wake-up._ _

__“Gabe,” Jesse said, moving his hand onto Gabriel’s bicep to shake him again, his fingers pressing into his soft skin. He hated how his mind went back to the only other time he had really touched Gabriel and without realising it, he was comparing mental notes._ _

__Before Jesse’s mind could wander too much, Gabriel suddenly shifted, knocking his hand off his body as he rolled onto his back, rubbing his face with his hands. “Huh? What time is it? I set an alarm-”_ _

__“Boss boss, it’s not time to get up. It’s jus’, you’re shudderin’ real bad. I accidentally left the window open an’ the temperature dropped,” Jesse explained, staggering to his feet as he watched Gabriel compose himself._ _

__He looked away as Gabriel grumbled and sat up; kept his attention on grabbing the bottle of water and taking a long sip before he moved back to the bed. He couldn’t believe he was going to offer this; but it had been his original intention when his confidence had been stronger… He couldn’t help but wonder what the hell he had been thinking at the time. Why did he ask for a double bed? What, did he think suddenly years of internalised homophobia would be forgotten just because they had to share a bed?_ _

__“Fuck, it is cold,” Gabriel whispered, rubbing his arms with his hands as he slid off the sofa and stood up. “Do the radiators work?”_ _

__Jesse glanced over at the one near the door; the one he hadn’t touched or even really acknowledged until now. He knew he should say he wasn’t sure; that they needed to check before the ruled it out, but he saw a plan unfolding in his head and his heart was clearly in control. “Nah, I tried ‘em already,” he said with a nonchalant tone, waving at the radiator dismissively and this was it. Either Gabriel would check and discover his potential lie, or he would just shrug it off and be left with the only other option, unless he wanted to leave the room to find other blankets._ _

__He watched as Gabriel picked up his blanket and wrapped it around his shoulders, and if he hadn’t already admitted he loved Gabriel then sight alone might have pushed him over the edge. He would never really consider Gabriel cute, but with the blanket around his shoulders and him huddled over, well, it was just a more approachable image than usual two shotguns look._ _

__With the slight boost of confidence he took in a deep breath, faking a yawn. “You wanna share the bed with me? It’s a double after all,” Jesse drawled, trying to sound tired as he climbed back into the bed, smacking his pillow a couple of times before he laid his head down. “Like, it’s your call. I jus’ don’t want you gettin’ a cold or nothin’. I mean, maybe Athena has some extra blankets, I dunno. Your call boss.”_ _

__He could sense Gabriel’s hesitation before he moved around to the otherside of the bed, but he could barely concentrate on another person’s movements whilst his heart was pounding; his head throbbing. He couldn’t believe it; that he would be sharing a bed with another person, and that person was Gabriel Reyes, boss, pain in the ass, and potential lover._ _

__“Are you sure you’re comfortable with this?” Gabriel asked, dragging Jesse back to reality as he tugged back the duvet on the empty side before Jesse could give an answer, but he did pause eventually, not getting in, which only made Jesse roll his eyes again._ _

__“You’re letting the heat out,” he mumbled, trying to seem as tired as he actually was, but it was hard to be tired when he was about to share a bed with the man he had fantasised about for years. ._ _

__Gabriel let out a sigh, climbing in and lying on his side, facing Jesse. Unexpected, yes. Unwelcome? No. He felt his heart soar slightly, and as he opened his eyes, he found Gabriel staring back at him._ _

__“Jesse,” Gabriel started, and he nodded in response, trying not to smile. “I want you to know that this wasn’t my plan. I thought we had a twin room. I didn’t- I mean, this isn’t some weird thing I’m doing to get into your pants. You know, the classic ‘oh it’s cold so we will have to share warmth’? Well, it’s not that. I truly had no intention of invading your space,” he mumbled, looking down at the space between them. “I know how I might seem sometimes, especially when I’m yelling my head off about you and the other fucks in training… I guess i just need you to know that I heard what you said today, but I’m in no rush. It obviously meant a lot for you to put your feelings out there like that, and I appreciate the gesture but I’m worried about you. I don’t want you to feel like you have to do anything.”_ _

__Jesse nodded again, darting his eyes over Gabriel’s face; his warm eyes and concerned expression. He didn’t need a therapist to tell him that he had a fear of being thrown away; chucked into a cell where he belonged. He knew Gabriel had the power to do that, and deep down, he knew he wouldn’t do that to him. He knew at this point, if he wanted to leave and do something else, Gabriel would probably help him, yet there was that small niggling at the back of his mind, that irrational part, that said that he was nothing special; that he was easily discarded like a piece of trash._ _

__Which was why he kept up his gang attitude; kept those defenses that he had learnt during his Deadlock days. It was easier that way, but he wanted to lower them for Gabriel; was desperate to do so but he had little idea of how to, aside from getting blackout drunk, which wasn’t something he could ever do back on base._ _

__He didn’t need to be thinking about something so heavy before bed._ _

__He also didn’t want to miss this brief moment he had with a half asleep Gabriel._ _

__Gabriel let out another sigh, and Jesse could smell the alcohol on his breath still. Now that he recalled, he hadn’t brushed his teeth when Jesse had, which seemed strange for a man who seemed so anal about his own personal hygiene… but it was little things like that which made Jesse even more certain of his feelings. Each time Gabriel seemed more human, forgetting things or making mistakes, then the closer Jesse thought him to be in reach…_ _

__Truthfully, at first it had been infatuation with an older man, awe and admiration, the kind he gave most potential father figures. He’d done that his entire life, but with Gabriel, he had quickly realised it was something more. After all, he’d never jerked off thinking about his superiors in Deadlock, he didn’t get butterflies when Strike Commander Morrison looked at him. Never had a friendly hug from Lieutenant Wilhelm made him blush or get aroused, not that Gabriel had ever hugged him… but he got a reaction from the simplest touch when it was Gabriel, but a full bodied embrace from Reinhardt did nothing._ _

__“Hey, y’know how you said you’d make the same decision about me again if you had to,” Jesse started, his voice a little hoarse. Too much talking; not enough water, but he didn’t want to move again. “Why did you say that? Is it because you value my skills, or y’know… because you value me, as a person I mean.”_ _

__“Do you really need me to answer that?” Gabriel asked, closing his eyes. “You already know the answer, right?”_ _

__Jesse raised his hand, brushing his fingers over Gabriel’s cheek. “Uh, I wanna think I do, but… I need verbal confirmation, sir,” he whispered, lowering his hand onto the mattress._ _

__And Gabriel let out a long breath through his nose, not bothering to open his eyes as he raised his own hand, placing it atop Jesse’s, their fingers naturally falling together. “I’ve had a soft spot for you since the first time I saw you,” Gabriel admitted, a small smile tugging on his lips and Jesse felt his face heat up. “I remember you telling me to shove the interview table up my ass before you spat at Jack. From that moment, I don’t know, I think I’ve just… been a little smitten with you, which turned into a lot smitten. I can’t imagine there ever being a version of you whose first words to me aren’t telling me to forcibly insert furniture into my rectum, and if there is, it’s not you.” He yawned, smacking his mouth before he settled down into the mattress, but didn’t bother to move his hand. “I didn’t even know about your skills until we put you through mandatory physical examinations a week later, and for reference, I’d signed off on accepting you into Blackwatch literally seconds after Jack tackled you to the ground for spitting at him because that shit was hilarious,” he mumbled, clearly almost asleep._ _

__Jesse couldn’t help but grin as he recalled the moment, oblivious to Gabriel’s tired tone. “I didn’t know you did that, I kinda just thought you wanted me for my amazing aim,” he said quietly, his eyes glancing between Gabriel’s closed eyes and his lips. He wanted nothing more than to lean over and press their lips together finally, but there it was again, that feeling in the back of his mind that stopped him. “Hey Gabe?”_ _

__But his voice fell on deaf ears, the words disappearing in Gabriel’s heavy breathing, and Jesse found himself simply staring at their hands before he closed his own eyes. Any further questions, he could ask in the morning._ _


	4. Downpour

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The start of the mission doesn't go according to plan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the biggest decision for this chapter was whether the penis emoji i have Jesse text was to have pee dashes in front of it or not

Jesse wasn’t sure what to expect upon waking. Breakfast in bed would have been the best case scenario’; dagger stuck in his back probably the worst. Or a gun aimed at his face. Or chest, or dick. Actually, any kind of waking up that involved weapons in other men’s hands was best avoided. 

However, as bad as those things seemed, somehow… rolling over to feel an empty space somehow made those options seem almost appealing. Weapons he could handle, knew how to respond to waking up in danger. Breakfast he could also handle, he always seemed to wake up hungry. Waking up without Gabriel right now? After he had laid himself bare? He could combat roll away from any weapon, but not from this; not from his feelings.

At least he was 90% sure that that was the problem, that he’d gone’n spilled his guts. Mornings were always a little hazy for him, regardless of how much he drank the night before and with every moment that passed, he was starting to feel less certain of anything. 

Swinging his body around, all he could do was sit on the edge of the bed, his eyes taking stock of his surroundings. Dingy hotel room: Check. Bad weather? Check. 

He glanced towards the bathroom as he heard something and he could only stare as Gabriel slowly walked out, a mug in his hand and a familiar stressed out expression on his face. At least he could also tick ‘ridiculously attractive boss he was infatuated with’ off the list as well. All present and accounted for, great. 

“Did you make me one?” He asked, his voice raspy as he struggled with his first words of the day. 

Gabriel gestured to a second chipped mug on the nightstand as he moved further into the room. “It’s probably cold now. I tried waking you about ten minutes ago but you weren’t having any of it.”

“Uh, thanks I guess,” Jesse mumbled to himself, picking up the mug with a grimace. It looked worse than the shit they served him in Deadlock. Maybe he was growing too accustomed to the almost luxurious facilities on offer back on base. A quick sniff confirmed his assumptions that it was nothing more than dirt water, and he wanted to ask how Gabriel was even drinking it, but words refused to leave his mouth, the dryness choking him.

The silence was uncomfortable, well, for him anyway. Maybe Gabriel thought nothing of it, or maybe he had more important things on his mind. More important than Jesse, not that finding something more important than him was hard. He couldn’t ever recall a time when he was put first, aside from on the firing line. 

“Hey boss, listen,” he started, only for Gabriel to dismiss him with a gesture as he took another sip from his mug. 

“Get up. Get dressed. We have to meet our contact in- shit, actually, we have to meet them now,” Gabriel muttered, downing his drink before he started throwing clothes at Jesse. “C’mon, I’ll call the cab and meet you outside in three minutes.”

-

Despite the fact that he cut three minutes down to two, Jesse still received an earful from Gabriel as he climbed into the cab. It was becoming clear to him that he wouldn’t be able to do much right today so he decided to keep quiet inside the vehicle; decided to keep his thoughts to himself. He could do that. Silence was always hard, but not impossible. Even he knew when to stop running his mouth.

He watched as his boss busied himself with the tablet in his hands, pushing notifications away, opening files and closing them, tapping out messages that he obviously felt no need to share with Jesse. That was fine. It was none of his business. After all, if it was his business, Gabriel would have forwarded the messages to him or shown him or at least verbally explained them. 

So he turned his attention to the window, trying to focus on the buildings as they zoomed by. 

The mission dossier had been right. Detroit was nothing but ruins to his eye, but he knew that behind the crumbling exterior lay a metropolis renovated, occupied and ruled by omnics. Few humans worked there, even fewer lived. And even then it was made clear that humans weren’t really welcome unless they were on the arm of an omnic.That was fine by Jesse, he didn’t care. 

Why was he even on this mission? Was he the best guy for the job? Or was it because he’d let Gabriel touch his dick a few times? He didn’t have any special interest in omnics one way or another. They were what they were and as long as they didn’t bother him, he didn’t give a shit. He was probably more accepting of omnics than he was of himself - that sounded like some smart psychological bullshit Gabriel would say. 

He really did not need to go down that path right now. 

-

“What do you mean the information is off the table? The information was the only thing you had on the damn table!”

Jesse had been watching Gabriel argue with the contact for over ten minutes. Their name was Kat, a humanoid omnic who at first glance, seemed as normal as one could be. However, upon closer inspection, he could see numerous parts of them had been replaced with military grade components. Either that, or they were originally a military grade unit whose damaged parts had been replaced with civic elements. 

Probably the latter if they were a Blackwatch informant. Not that it was any of his business, as he was repeatedly reminded by Gabriel. 

Stay by the cab, McCree. Don’t mess around, McCree. Keep a lookout, McCree. Shut up, McCree. 

He rolled his eyes, taking a long drag from his cigarette as he leaned against the taxi. He had read the dossier, knew he was more useful than being a glorified taxi stand. He knew about the set up Kat was running, knew that their barn housed numerous OR14 units. Where they’d got them from or what they was doing with them wasn’t mentioned, but Gabriel had referred to them as a ‘bleeding heart’ and being as they didn’t have a heart, Jesse could only assume he meant figuratively, rather than literally. 

Jesse could only assume that Gabriel and Kat shared that in common. Both of them seemed to like taking in broken things to try and fix them. Maybe that’s all he was to Gabriel, some pet project. 

Sighing, he flicked his cigarette to the side and shoved his hands in his pockets. He was bored, it was raining - not too heavily but enough to be annoying - and there wasn’t anything out here aside from an empty pen and a derelict house. He wasn’t sure if he preferred it to the hotel, both seemed unappealing. At least the hotel had alcohol, and unless Kat was also making moonshine then he doubted there was a drop to drink around these parts.

He fished out his phone, sliding open messages, dismissing any that were irrelevant. There was one from Jerry, asking how sore his ass was after letting the boss have his way with him. He knew that leaving it unanswered might seem like he was confirming Jerry’s dumb gossip, but answering it could land him in trouble. Well, answering it how wanted to would definitely get him in trouble. Rubbing his forehead, he shrugged and sent back a message that simply said ‘wish you were here --c===3’.

A slight frown creeped onto his features as he opened the next message. Unknown number, and a quick run through the diagnosis application returned nothing. No location, no nothing, and all the message said was to ‘give the number to Reyes’, but that just made Jesse frown harder. Was the number the phone number it had come from? Or was there some kind of number embedded in the message? Something he was too stupid to get? 

He was starting to wish he had paid more attention during the technology side of training. Sure, he could hack your average civilian omnic, hack data pads and security consoles… but deciphering things… well, that was a whole different game. He was never any good with languages, and that extended to languages consisting of ones and zeros or whatever the hell else they had in there… Besides, that wasn’t why he was Gabriel’s protegé. If he’d wanted an expert hacker, he could have picked… literally anyone else. 

He glanced between the taxi and Gabriel. He told him not to leave the cab but… 

“Hey, you’re good just sittin’ here an’ waitin’, right?” He asked as he stuck his head back in the car, only to be waved away angrily by the driver. 

Taking that as a positive, he nodded and tapped on the roof before he jogged over to Gabriel, attracting Kat’s attention before his boss’s, and they simply stopped talking, tilting their head in a way that exposed a number of wires. He felt awkward as he stood behind Gabriel, his hand hesitating over his shoulder as he made eye contact with Kat, or at least what he assumed was eye contact. 

And he could sense it, a degree of hesitation from the omnic; insecurity and possibly even fear. He hadn’t felt that in a long time, not since he had first arrived on the Overwatch base. His instinct was to back off, turn tail and run.

He wished he had. He did not welcome the expression on Gabriel’s face as he turned around. That was a face he didn’t like; that wasn’t Gabriel, the guy he had started to feel comfortable around, no. That was Commander Reyes, and he had fucked up. 

“So I ask you to do one thing, just one thing and-” 

“But sir, I-”

Gabriel glared at him, fury apparent on his features. “And you not only have the nerve to disobey a simple order, but now you have the audacity to interrupt me and put in jeopardy the one part of this mission that still hasn’t been fucked up,” he hissed, shoving his tablet under his arm before he pointed with the other. “Go stand over there, away from us.”

“Boss-”

“I said go! There! Now!” 

Jesse went to speak again but he cut himself off, thinking better of it. If they were back on base, he would dig his heels in and push back, see what trouble he could get himself into. However, they were not back on base, instead, they were in the middle of some farm in the desolate outskirts of Detroit, and there was a witness he didn’t know, and he had no idea what exactly he was trying to show Gabriel anyway. In retrospect, it was stupid to approach him when the one task he had been given was to stay back.

Then it suddenly hit him. Maybe he wasn’t just being told to stay back. Maybe he was being a lookout; maybe there was going to be some sort of an attack. What exactly did Kat have, or know? Was it worth killing for?

He turned around and started skulking back towards the taxi, and he heard it before he saw it: the sound of tires crunching on the gravel, the splash of a puddle and the squeaking of rubber against glass. There was little point in running around the corner to try and catch it, Jesse knew it would be long gone. And of course it was, because that was just how his luck was. He was already in trouble for one thing, so it was only natural that more would follow. 

“Great, real fuckin’ perfect,” he mumbled under his breath, kicking a stone on the ground. 

He let out a long sigh as he moved to lean against the fence and looked up at the sky. The heavens really had opened now, whether to mock him or support him, he didn’t know - but anything that soaked his cigarettes to the point of being nothing but trash… Well, he could only assume that everything was out to get him at this point. 

Throwing his cigarettes to the ground, he folded his arms and shuddered, shaking his head over and over again. If it was one thing he hated, it was being treated like a child, and right now he might as well have been told he was grounded and to sit in the corner. He knew he had a problem with authority; Gabriel knew it too, so to speak to him like that on a mission, well, that was a good way to give Jesse an attitude for the rest of the job.

He wished it wouldn’t; wished he could take criticism and accept discipline with grace but that just wasn’t who he was. 

Almost an hour passed before he saw Gabriel again, and in that time, neither of them had calmed down. Jesse had worked himself up even more, and Gabriel was still seemed pretty pissed, although Jesse wasn’t sure if he was still the cause. Regardless, as he saw Gabriel approaching, he knew he was going to take his anger out on him.

“Where the fuck is the taxi?” Was the first thing Gabriel said to Jesse, and that was enough to make Jesse start to put up his usual barrier. 

“It went away. You’re gonna have to call another,” Jesse mumbled, adjusting his hat as he stepped out from under the slight shelter of the roof, the rain drenching him again instantly. He couldn’t remember the last time he had been somewhere so wet and it was making his chest hurt; his senses blurry. He was cold, and it only served to make him more vulnerable, and that made him more irritable.

The same could be said about Gabriel, but Jesse knew that even if it was sunshine and butterflies, Gabriel would still be pissed off. He knew that his boss wasn’t as angry as people liked to make out, but if a situation warranted his fury then he was always happy to play the role of the bad guy.

Normally, Jesse would be excited; aroused even, to see Gabriel on the warpath. There was something about his anger that ticked all the right boxes for Jesse. However, right now, he was soaking wet, hadn’t had a cigarette for over an hour and had been humiliated because of his own apparent incompetence. 

“I can’t just call another. Only a handful of people can know that we are here, and that taxi driver is one that was vetted by us beforehand. If I call another-”

“I don’t give a fuck, Gabe. M’cold an’ I wanna go the fuck back to the hotel, alright?” Jesse snapped, glaring at Gabriel as he sniffed loudly, the moisture making him feel sicker than he actually was.

Gabriel looked at him, a displeased expression on his face and for a moment, Jesse thought that Gabriel was going to give in; was going to say it was fine and call them a cab right away but instead, he simply glared at Jesse. 

“Well we can’t go back until we have that exact same taxi driver right back here,” Gabriel said, his tone not matching his expression and that was enough to unsettle Jesse.

But still, he pushed back, unable to contain his attitude. “Then phone him back here? You can do that with your fancy phone or whatever, right? Or maybe you can get your little omnic buddy to call him back, they’re probably like related or some shit.”

Gabriel scowled as he crossed his arms, seemingly unaffected by the rain. “Ease up on that bullshit, kid, you’re treading a thin line. You’ve already fucked up the one thing I asked you to do, so quit digging yourself a deeper hole,” he muttered as he took a step towards Jesse and reached up, knocking Jesse’s hat from his head in what he had to assume was just plain pettiness. 

“Y’know what, I can’t do nothin’ right, can I?” Jesse spat, scowling as he reached down to snatch his hat, not caring about the damp or dirt as he pulled it back on his head. “Jus’ fuck you, y’know? You say you need me for this mission, an’ then you don’t.” He paused, adjusting his hat as he considered what to say, but his mouth was already open before he finished his thoughts. An’ then I’m a kid, but then I’m also someone you wanna fuck?” He paused, a look of disgust on his face. “Or, _whatever_ , you want me to fuck you?”

Gabriel visibly flinched before he crossed his arms. “You wish I’d let some punk like you fuck me. You’re just a bit of fun, McCree. You’re just the best out of a bad lot. And you don’t have many choices other than me because I can’t think of anyone who would stoop low enough to fuck some Deadlock brat.”

“You think I ain’t got choices? ‘cause I got choices an’ most of them ain’t old men covered in scars with a thing for pissin’ on people,” Jesse spat, glaring at Gabriel before he started to stalk off.

“Oh right yeah, sure,” Gabriel replied with a sarcastic tone, and Jesse turned around just in time to see him laugh and shake his head. “I’m sure everyone is just queueing up around the block wanting to get into your rancid pants. I’m sure everyone is just gagging for some brat with a criminal record bigger than his ego.”

He turned his back to his boss once more, striding away - his footsteps quicker and quicker, not listening to whatever Gabriel might have been yelling after him as power walking turned into jogging and before he knew it, he could no longer hear Gabriel’s shouts over the sound of the downpour. He didn’t know where he was going but he’d know when he got there. So long as it was anywhere Gabriel wasn’t.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \--c===3


	5. The Bar

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jesse has too much to drink.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter warning for drunken sex (so dubcon), spit as lube, piss, a bit of vomit and Jesse's jumbled drunken thoughts.

It had taken Jesse almost an hour to get back into the city, and even longer before he found a bar that let humans in unaccompanied. 

It felt weird to be stared at for simply being a human. He was used to people giving him a second look, whether it was because he ridiculously attractive or because of the old Deadlock wanted signs still kicking about on tattered noticeboards. He was used to that, but this? Being sized up so blatantly simply because he had flesh and bones… well, that just didn’t seem right to him. 

As he looked for a free stool and sat down, he just couldn’t stop thinking about it, that maybe in the past he had been too harsh to judge people by their appearance. That he excused himself because of Deadlock, that the gang shaped him into the man he was today, that of course he would have been a better person if he’d come up a better way. But maybe that wasn’t it, maybe after all this time, it was just _him_.

However, regardless of any prejudice he might have let into his head, he couldn’t deny that the omnics sold some damn good liquor and they sure kept it flowing, which was probably why he could feel himself getting drunk so fast. Most places would have cut him off by now, but the omnic behind the bar seemed a pretty decent guy; he realised Jesse was hurting and instead of pushing for awkward conversation, he simply kept Jesse’s glass topped up. Unlike some people.

“So, what brings a guy like you to a bar like this?” came a smooth but undoubtedly electronic voice from his side.

Jesse shrugged and stared into his glass, swirling the amber liquid a few times before downing the rest in one. He wasn’t in the mood for conversation, but for once, he didn’t want to cause trouble so he took off his hat and placed it on the bar, a sigh escaping his lips as he looked over at the source of the question.

An omnic, just like he thought. Couldn’t be surprised though. When he’d walked in this joint, he had scoped it out after all, checked for anything too obvious - but it just looked like a regular dive bar, if with a fair few more omnics than the ones he was used to. Omnics with many a drunk person draped over them, or a few the other way ‘round . They all seemed as drunk as each other and he had to confess he wasn’t sure what would get an omnic in such a state. Maybe they ate codes; maybe some sorta oil… 

“Depends on what kinda guy you think I am,” Jesse finally responded, dragging his eyes over he omnic’s body. Again, like Kat, they seemed to be built of several different parts. Probably backstreet repairs, if he had to guess. Maybe there was some kind of morbid chop shop nearby. Maybe that’s what they were supposed to be investigating. He still didn’t really know, and as he waved down the bartender, he realised he didn’t care. 

“A guy that might be looking for a good time?” The omnic said as he reached out and placed a hand on Jesse’s arms and dammit if he didn’t flinch away without thinking, a low beep sounded out of the omnic as they pulled their hand back, holding it up apologetically. “Sorry, I just assumed-”

“Nah, you don’t gotta apologise,” Jesse mumbled, shaking his head. “I jus’... I ain’t looking for company. Just a drink.” They let out another soft beep before they spoke, and Jesse wondered if it was a malfunction - the sad little noises betraying their tone like a stammer or a too fast word would for a human.

“Not many people come here just for a drink.”

Jesse raised an eyebrow, turning to give the patrons of the bar another look before turning his attention back to the omnic. 

“So, what’s your name?” they asked, their little beep a more pleasant chime now - trying a new tactic. Or an old one, if you wanted to look at it that way - looks like omnics had the same smalltalk playbook programmed into their heads that people did.

He shrugged, nodding at the bartender as he filled his glass again. “I guess you can call me Jesse,” he mumbled, sighing. “What about you? Do you have a name or a serial number or whatever?”

The omnic let out a small laugh, and another of those tell-tale beeps, higher pitched now “I have a serial number, a model number, a distribution number… but most people just call me DeeDee 3.”

“What’s the three for?”

DeeDee shrugged and tilted their head to the side. “There were already two other DeeDees registered within the district when I came here.”

“Huh… Makes sense I suppose,” Jesse uttered, dragging his gaze up and down DeeDee. “But as I said, I ain’t lookin’ for whatever you’re sellin’.”

“I’m just looking to lend an ear,” another soft chime with that claim, almost tuneful - but Jesse was on the drunk side of reasonable and couldn’t stop himself from answering;

“You ain’t even got ears.” 

But they laughed again, that little tune sounding out before and after, and Jesse found himself starting to talk. His tongue grew looser with every sip of his drink, and before he knew it, he was explaining everything to DeeDee. He talked about Deadlock and everything he went through. He spoke of Overwatch, even though he knew he shouldn’t have. He mentioned Blackwatch, not by name - just said he worked in a specialist department - and eventually, it led up to him talking about Gabriel.

Of course, he left out the commander’s name, left out the commander’s everything - except for how stupidly hot he was, and how much he’d made Jesse feel like shit. Anyone in the bar could have overheard what he was saying but he couldn’t stop himself. He felt like he was useless; like he meant nothing. He didn’t even understand why he was on this mission if all he’d done so far was fuck up. 

Maybe the other recruits were right. Maybe Gabriel did just keep him around because he was a pretty face and could do fancy trickshots with his gun. The more he drank, the more it seemed that way. 

Before he knew it, he’d run out of things to say, left no detail out, regardless of how embarrassing it was. He was drunk but he didn’t care. He had no real friends, no one he could talk to about this so now he found himself relying on the kindness of strangers and their advice regarding his growing problem.

He explained his feelings for Gabriel, explained the things they had done, and the things they hadn’t done. He explained his preferences and his confusion; his experience and what he wanted; what he needed. He said everything he found himself unable to say to Gabriel no matter how much he wanted to.

And by the time he had stumbled out of the bar, DeeDee waving giving him a thumbs up and beeping out a little triumphant march, Jesse had gone from self deprecating loser to a man on a mission. 

-

Jesse wasn’t certain how many doors he had tried his keycard in before he finally found the correct one but he quickly forgot his peril as he stumbled into the room and directly into his boss’s chest.

“Jesse, where in the fuck-”

“No shush,” Jesse slurred, trying to stand up straight and push a finger to Gabriel’s lips, but his legs faltered again only this time he felt Gabriel catch him; felt his strong hands holding him up and it all went straight to his head. The possibility that such a thing would happen when he dragged his drunk ass back here had crossed his mind, but the reality... 

He let Gabriel lower him, his knees resting on the floor as he stared at Gabriel’s crotch, his head tilted to the side as he tried to get his words out. 

“Mmm, you like me like this, right?” Jesse slurred, pressing his face against Gabriel’s crotch and he didn’t miss the hesitation in Gabriel’s hands as he slowly allowed himself to pull Jesse closer. “How long have you wanted me on my knees?” He asked, a smirk on his face as he rubbed his face against the front of his jeans. “D’ya dream about this?”

Breathing against Gabriel’s crotch, he couldn’t resist outlining his obvious bulge with his mouth, his hands sliding up his legs, gripping those thick thighs hard enough to push him backwards. 

He could only watch with a smirk as Gabriel lost his footing as soon as his knees hit the edge of the bed and there he was, Commander Reyes on his back just like in a few fantasies he had allowed himself to have, vulnerable and so tempting to him. Jesse didn’t miss a beat, and took full advantage by crawling up after him, his hands back on those thighs to pull himself up and before he knew it, Gabriel had silently opened his legs and let Jesse settle between them. All he could do was stare down at the first non-angry expression he’s seen on him all day, 

“Mm, you’re lookin’ real flustered there boss,” Jesse said in a low voice, throwing his hat off to one side as he grabbed Gabriel closer to the hips and pulled him down; wrapping Gabriel’s legs around his waist. The confidence he felt was familiar; had experienced it several times before. He knew that about himself; that he always needed liquid courage before doing almost everything, why did he think this would be any different?

Gabriel remained silent as Jesse leaned down, his hands slipping under his shirt, feeling his body out and he wasn’t let down. Jesse had seen Gabriel topless a number of times but this was his first time touching him like this. He wasn’t stopped as his hands slid over his chest and Gabriel only let out a small laugh as Jesse’s fingers teased towards his armpits.

“Kid, you’re drunk,” Gabriel said as he ran his hand through Jesse’s hair, and he couldn’t help but lean into the touch. He thought Gabriel would still be mad; had sensed it when he had come in the room but it had quickly dissipated and now his boss just… Seemed like the exact Gabriel he adored; the Gabriel in his dreams and fantasies - the one who made him... 

“You don’t mind, d’ya?” Jesse mumbled, sliding his hands to Gabriel’s belt and unlatching it, getting back to what he knew - and he felt the hand in his hair gripping tighter, pulled his head away from his target. He let Gabriel pull his gaze up, frowning slightly as he had to finish with unzipping without being able to see, his hands less coordinated than he thought. 

“I’m not going to fuck you if you’re drunk,” Gabriel mumbled with a sigh, flopping his head down onto the mattress as he raised his arms to cover his face, his legs slowly falling from Jesse’s waist. “I really want to fuck you, but not like this,” his voice was flat, and Jesse could hear the pain in his voice; the desperation, and even if he hadn’t caught that, he could feel Gabriel’s cock already; could feel the hardness pressing against him every time they shifted.

Jesse snorted, sliding his hands to Gabriel’s waistband and tugging it down and he felt Gabriel’s legs go limp, allowing him to pull his jeans off. “What if I fucked you?” He whispered as he pulled Gabriel’s trousers down and threw them off to the side, his eyes fixated on Gabriel’s crotch. He could see the outline of his erection, knew that no matter what Gabriel said, he wanted this. He could sense his boss’s hesitation, knew what was going through his mind but he knew he couldn’t verbalise any reassurance. 

The alcohol made it easier but his nerves were still there. His dick was hard but his head was throbbing just as much, he’d have to show Gabriel what he couldn’t tell. 

He stood up straight, holding one hand to his head as he pulled his belt open with the other and he watched as Gabriel wordlessly lifted his hips and slipped his boxers off. and threw them to the side. His eyes were drawn to Gabriel’s face, a look of complete submission on his face as he opened his legs again, lifted his knees and hooked his hands behind them and presented himself. 

Spitting into his hand, he rubbed his fingers against Gabriel’s hole, watching the way Gabriel tensed up; how he closed his eyes and let his head fall back, his breathing rapid. He had thought about fucking Gabriel a lot in the past, but he never thought he would ever be allowed to do it, even when Gabriel had said he wanted him to. He just assumed that was all talk, all sugar words with no substance. After all, his experiences in life told him that was just how life yet even now he wanted a little more than this, than silent submission.

“I need you to beg for it,” Jesse whispered, thrusting his cock clumsily against Gabriel’s ass, purposely avoiding his hole each time. “C’mon boss, I know you ain’t above beggin’. You want my dick, don’tcha, you want it more than you want my ass, admit it. You love getting your ass fucked. How many recruits have you fucked before me? You still tight down there? Or are you nice and ready for me already?” He slid his hand up Gabriel’s chest and onto his neck, teasingly tightening his grip before he moved his palm to Gabriel’s mouth. “Spit.”

He watched as Gabriel stared at him for a moment, a glimpse of defiance before he turned his head with a smirk, spitting into Jesse’s hand. “Mhm, why don’t you find out? If you’re done talking big that is.”

Jesse sniggered as he rubbed the spit against Gabriel’s ass before coating his dick in what remained on his hand. It wasn’t much, but he’d seen it done with less back in Deadlock. If anything, this was generous. He didn’t want to hurt Gabriel at all, but Gabriel certainly wasn’t stopping him. Maybe he liked it; maybe that was part of his attraction to Jesse. Maybe he just liked it rough; maybe he was desperate for _this_ Jesse. 

And who was he to deny Gabriel? His boss; his commander. The man was a degenerate, after all, that much was clear at this point. Gabriel gave him a blow job right after he’d pissed himself, then the other two times they had touched each other had been even worse. 

Well, not _worse_. He just didn’t understand any of it, but here he was, his cock pressed against Gabriel’s asshole and a thick fuzzy feeling in his head. 

“How long were you gonna wait for me?” Jesse asked, smirking as he lined his cock up, pressing the tip inside with ease and he felt himself mumbling ‘called it’ under his breath. He should have known Gabriel had just wanted this from him; the punkass gangbanger he had been; always would be deep down. He’d done this with girls before, back in Deadlock days and none of them had ever opened up for him like this; none of them had been as willing as Gabriel was. To them, it had been a chore, like they were doing him a massive favour but Gabriel… He actually wanted this and Jesse didn’t know what that meant. Was this a purely physical thing? Was this what he’d wanted all along?

It had hardly been difficult to get Gabriel in this position, under him, legs waving in the air as he held back his own knees just for Jesse and he could see him shaking, his chest heaving already and it was almost as if he was nervous, but Jesse knew better. There was no way that a man like Gabriel Reyes got nervous, especially not during sex. 

He watched Gabriel lick his lips and turn his head, looking away, exhaling slowly as Jesse pushed further inside. 

“I was never in any rush,” Gabriel said with the kind of soft smile that made Jesse’s knees weak; made those butterflies wreak havoc on his insides. He still couldn’t get past his crush on his boss, even though his dick was literally inside him. He still thought of him as unattainable; someone who would never want him for who he was, yet here he was… it didn’t make sense to him when he was sober, and it made even less sense when he was drunk.

He just knew that he would do anything to gain Gabriel’s favour, and right now, it seemed like the best way to do that was to fuck him like his boss cleary wanted - no, needed. He had never been with a man before, but he could read basic body language and just watching Gabriel pant and shake, his hands still holding his legs up for him. And it wasn’t until he started to move that Jesse realised what a favour that was; as he narrowly avoided getting a heel in his shoulder, a foot in his jaw. He could barely control his own movements, let alone be responsible for someone else’s. 

With Gabriel’s legs not his problem, he could focus on the fucking, which was what he was good at - and definately something that seemed like the most important thing to be getting on with at this exact moment. 

“You’re not mad that I’m drunk, are you?” He asked, leaning closer to Gabriel’s face, his hands pressing down on Gabriel’s chest as he started to thrust more slowly, his cock slipping out with a wet noise that was barely audible over the sound of them both moaning. As Jesse gripped his dick again and pressed back inside, Gabriel took the break to pull off his shirt and Jesse couldn’t help but be captivated for a moment, his eyes running over his body before he realised he hadn’t even kissed Gabriel.

The one thing he had been fearing the most, he had yet to do but.... There was something stopping him; some kind of mental block and he suddenly had self doubts flooding back so he did the one thing he knew how to do; distract. He reached down and gripped Gabriel’s hips again before he started to thrust into him again; harder, enough to push a moan out from his lips every time; giving them a job and making them too busy for anything else. 

If Gabriel did think he was doing a bad job, he definitely wasn’t saying so. He just lay there panting, his voice hitching every time Jesse sloppily pressed inside him, his movements rough and unpractised. Sure, he’d had sex before but he didn’t really remember much about the majority of it. He’d been drunk more often than not, if he was honest with himself, and mostly found company in the many prostitutes who frequented the gang’s terf.

But even if he was drunk again now, it felt different. This was different. 

He wasn’t sure how or _why_ though. His brain was muddled; which he could only thank that generous bartender for. If he was more sober, he’d know to blame himself; would have known to stop about five minutes ago before he passed the point of no return, but the whiskey had been strong and just so, so inviting, exactly how Gabriel was right now.

His eyes drifted to Gabriel’s chest; the hair, the muscles, the dark nipples standing erect. He was like no one Jesse had been with before and if he’d been less drunk, he’d probably start overthinking it; would probably turn himself off but right now, he could only stare down at that body, at what he was doing to it. He had dreamed about this moment for so long and he never thought he’d ever actually get to do it. He thought if anything his boss would be a strict top, that no matter how much he might want to fuck Gabriel, he’d never be allowed to. Sure, Gabriel had mentioned Jesse fucking him, but he hadn’t thought he was actually serious.

But now he was here, and Gabriel was under him, and he could barely keep eye contact as he fucked into him. His gaze kept falling between Gabriel’s legs and focusing on his erection. Whatever he was doing was enough to make his boss hard and leaking and just knowing that was enough to make his own do the same. 

He was close and he couldn’t even remember how he’d gotten into this position. The way Gabriel moaned every time he thrust into him was enough to push him closer to the finish line; the way his hands clawed at Jesse, trying to cling onto him as he fucked him faster; harder. His own hands gripped Gabriel’s hips, trying desperately to keep him in place as he pushed inside but he couldn’t keep him still; each time he thought he had it, the perfect spot, his dick slipped out and he had to relinquish his hold to slide it back inside. But then again, every time that it happened, he was rewarded with the most lewd and unexpected noises from Gabriel.

“Gonna come boss,” Jesse mumbled, panting loudly as the sweat dripped down from his forehead, his whole body feeling just a little too warm; a little too shaky, and he couldn’t stop himself; Gabriel was too hot; too accomodating, and he could only hulk over and press his forehead against Gabriel’s chest as he thrust into him, riding out his orgasm with soft moans. He could feel Gabriel’s hands in his hair, holding him against his chest as he let him ride out his orgasm, seemingly not caring at the almost animalistic noises that Jesse now made; at his increasingly sloppy movements. 

“Boss, you feel so fuckin’ good,” Jesse mumbled against his skin, his body growing limp but he couldn’t bring himself to pull out. It was so warm and inviting. He’d never been inside someone who fit him so well. 

“Get off me kid, you’re heavy.”

“M’not movin’. So warm, feels…. So good,” he whispered, his voice shaking slightly. “M’gonna do this for you since I know you want it,” he said, dragging his cheek across Gabriel’s chest before looked up at Gabriel, his chin pressing into his chest, his eyes boring into Gabriel's face as he let a small smile lazily take over his features. He wasn’t sure if it was his expression that gave him away, or the warm fluids he was emptying inside him but Gabriel tensed up, his face reddening as he raised his fist to his mouth and bit down.

Jesse wasn’t sure what to expect, he’d never pissed inside anyone before, but it wasn’t unlike the many times he’d pissed himself in close quarters, his dick suffocated by jeans usually, not the hot insides of his boss. If he was more sober, he probably would have appreciated the feeling a bit more; would have processed it in a more mature way, but all he could feel was a hot wetness, and his soft dick slipped out before he could finish but he couldn’t stop. Instead, he found himself sliding up, his chin on Gabriel’s shoulder as he pissed against Gabriel’s still hard dick. 

Somewhere in the back of his mind was the voice of reason, begging him to stop; pleading with him to get it together and get off Gabriel right now. Hell, the same voice was begging him to get Gabriel off too, to do anything that wasn’t lying on top of his boss and pissing on him as he panted against his shoulder, slurred nonsense falling from his lips as he pushed himself higher, almost trying to climb on top of Gabriel.

But like with most things, his intoxicated mind thought he was more stable than he actually was, and before he knew it, he was falling back down, his face slamming into Gabe’s shoulder as he tried to get himself upright, despite the fact that he was still urinating on Gabriel. He wasn’t sure if Gabriel was into it, or whether he was just being polite and ignoring him; letting him do as he pleased. 

A part of him wondered just how far he could push it with his boss, but that far larger part of him was pleading with him to stop moving, to stop the motions that were starting to make everything spin. He tried to put his hands on the bed and push himself up, but the mattress was softer than he remembered and he slammed back down onto Gabriel’s body, a disgruntled groan coming from the other man.

“M’gonna…” Jesse slurred, drool escaping his mouth as he pressed his forehead against Gabriel’s shoulder, letting out a long sigh before he hiccuped and a shudder ran through his entire body as he felt the piss slowly stop, the last few drops dripping out of his cock as he moved again but it was already too late. He could feel a familiar nausea; a different kind of stirring in his body - could feel it rising in his throat and no matter how many deep breaths he took, he couldn’t suppress it. He wanted to get up; wanted to run to the bathroom but his legs couldn’t find any footing, and the mattress seemed intent on trying to consume his hands. 

With little grace or warning, he pushed himself up just enough so that when the first few heaves came out, they only just hit Gabriel’s shoulder but that didn’t matter. His efforts meant nothing as he failed to keep the night’s drinking down, and it burned as it rose up through his throat and out of his mouth, the stench of vomit compromised of alcohol and little else enough to make him feel dizzy. He didn’t even know where it went; how much there had been, whether Gabriel said anything - all he could see was the spinning behind his eyes that just got faster and faster, until everything went black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeah they _still_ haven't kissed but i promise i'm going somewhere with this.


	6. The Morning After The Night Before

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jesse wakes up with no memory as to what happened the previous night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry it took me so long to update but I wanted to write the next few chapters all at once so I wouldn't be leaving any readers with massive cliffhangers so I have the next few chapters ready to go and will post each one once I'm done editing them (...okay... once my wife is done editing them for me)

Jesse awoke slowly, his eyes sticky and his throat dry, a tang of vomit on his tongue.

His memories of the previous night were as lost as he felt, his body failing to co-operate as he scrambled to sit up enough to grab the tablets and glass of water left on his nightstand. It wasn’t until they slid down his throat that he realised someone must have set up the items for him.

His mind instantly went to Gabriel. How had he gotten back last night? He could recall some memories; some strange feelings, but whether they were fact or fiction was beyond him. His brain was telling him that he had stumbled into the hotel room, vomited and pissed everywhere, but as he looked around, nothing seemed out of place. The sheets he lay in were as clean as they would ever be.

And Gabriel was nowhere in sight. The sofa looked tidy, like it hadn’t been slept in but he’d woken up in the middle of the bed, so there was no way that his boss slept next to him. He wasn’t sure if that made him more nervous or not. Had he done something to make Gabriel leave? Maybe he ended up getting his own room.

“Oh fuck, what did I do…” he whispered to himself, dragging his ass out of the bed and he was about to swear about losing his clothes, when he saw them in a neat pile on the coffee table, his hat and cigarettes sitting neatly beside them.

He staggered around the room, pulling on his clothing, noting the strong smell of fabric softener. Had… Gabriel washed his clothes? When had he even found the time?

He shook his head, sighing heavily as he placed his hat on the top of his head.

“Boss? You in there?” He called out, moving to lean by the closed bathroom door, but after a minute or so, he pushed the door open to find it empty. He didn’t know what he’d do if Gabriel had been in there, but luckily, he hadn’t had to find out.

Still, he was starting to think that he would have preferred walking in on his boss taking a shit than this weird eerie emptiness. It extended from the room to his gut, and he was starting to assume the worst.

Had Gabriel been kidnapped? No, he doubted anyone could manage to kidnap his boss. 

Maybe he had killed him when he was drunk? The clean clothes and sheets made more sense if he had done that.

He was about to reach for his gun and check the bullets when his gaze shot to the door and he saw Gabriel charge into the room, a tablet in his hand and a scowl on his face.

“Get your ass moving. I have eyes on Kat,” he mumbled, not looking at Jesse as he reached behind the sofa and pulled out two large shotguns, holstering them on either thigh before turning his attention back to his tablet.

He should have checked behind the sofa before jumping to conclusions. It was more logical that his boss had left for a coffee or a walk, or even just to make a phone call, rather than him killing the guy. In fact, he wasn’t even certain he would even stand a chance against Gabriel, and if he had been drunk, he definitely wouldn’t have been able to get the upper hand on him. Maybe that was what happened; they had fought and that was why his clothes had been cleaned. Maybe they had been drenched in blood; his own blood. That would explain why his body ached so much, but he didn’t seem to have any obvious injuries. 

“What do you mean you have eyes on Kat? I thought they were a contact; like, a good guy,” Jesse said slowly, unable to suppress a yawn as he moved closer to his boss, only to have a bag thrown at him.

“They were, until after we left and we tracked them making a very quick getaway back into the city with a trailer that may have contained the more lethal parts from the OR14s they were supposed to be decommissioning,” he mumbled, exhaling heavily as he tapped away and he could tell Gabriel was busy; stressed, but there was the overwhelming feeling that he was avoiding him somehow.

He was about to ask a question; just a check in to make sure that they were okay and he hadn’t said or done anything stupid, when Gabriel shoved the tablet until his armpit and gestured to the door.

“You, go call a cab from the main desk. Different from yesterday - get the receptionist to call a local one. I’m going down the fire escape,” he said as he moved to the window, yanking it open, his guns hitting the frame as he climbed through it. “I need to check for bugs. I’ve done a sweep of this room and the adjacent ones. There isn’t anything out of the ordinary in the corridors either, but you can never be too careful.”

“Boss, don’t you think you’re bein’ a lil’-”

“Paranoid?” Gabriel asked as he shoved his head back through, and if the situation didn’t seem as tense, he might have almost found the sight endearing, but the heavy, loaded shotguns that dangled from his thighs simply made him look more menacing than anything. “Listen, kid, you better learn some paranoia that isn’t just to do with your repressed sexuality. You need to stay on your toes. This isn’t a test, this is real field work and I need you to start taking this seriously, instead of acting like a rookie in a simulator.”

Jesse cleared his throat, gripping the bag in his hands a little tighter.

Gabriel was right. Everything they had done in their downtime was irrelevant right now. He needed to get his head on straight.

“Yes boss,” he found himself mumbling with a nod before Gabriel disappeared from his sight again.

-

Gabriel’s words continued to ring out in his head as he made his way down the stairs and he couldn’t help but look out for bugs, cameras or any other kind of device. It hadn’t even crossed his mind that the hotel could have been bugged and that itself was a problem. He wanted to be professional, wanted to do his damn job right but just being here with Gabriel was so distracting.

He sauntered up to the front desk, determined to actually be an exemplary agent for once… or at least an adequate one. All he had to do was order a goddamn cab. How hard could it be? He didn’t need to think about Gabriel, and he certainly didn’t need to think about his hangover, no - he didn’t need to think about anything but the mission.

Maybe that he couldn’t remember last night was for the best. He could start today afresh, put tomorrow firmly in the past and move on; concentrate on doing a good job; concentrate on turning this whole thing around and somehow making the mission a success.

“If you’re here to ask for more sheets, we won’t have no more until this afternoon,” Athena said as she placed down the tattered paperback book and raised her hands, creating air quotation marks. “Your ‘friend’ took the last of the clean one’s last night after your ‘accident’.”

Jesse furrowed his brows, shaking his head slightly. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Athena let out a small laugh, placing her elbows on the desk before resting her chin in her hands. “I’ve worked in this hotel for the past twenty years. I’ve seen everything, honey,” she started, smiling as she looked Jesse up and down, and he couldn’t help but feel a little shy all of a sudden. “So you and your ‘friend’ are into a bit of watersports, big deal. You’re not the first couple of wet boys who have lived up to the name in more ways than one.”

“I ain’t certain I understand exactly what’s bein’ implied here,” Jesse said slowly, placing his hands flat on the reception desk.

“I’m sure that you don’t. The way you came in last night, I’m surprised you’re up and standing here in front of me right now,” Athena mumbled, letting out a long sigh. “In all honesty though, that boss of yours? He came down here in the middle of the night, covered in piss and vomit, lookin’ tired. All… frazzled. You oughta thank him for dealing with you. From the commotion I heard, I’d wager that you did something real foolish.”

“I…” Jesse began, clearing his throat, unable to stop himself from looking around, making sure no one was listening. “I don’t remember…” He admitted, clearing his throat again. “You wouldn’t happen to-”

“No,” she interrupted, her voice flat. “Even if I did, I don’t ever get involved in the personal drama of hotel guests.”

“Yeah but-”

“I said no!”

Jesse pursed his lips, grunting under his breath as he glared at Athena, narrowing his eyes. He knew it would be useless to push it further. A woman like this was set in her ways; made a living turning a blind eye. He couldn’t blame her. If she spoke about them, then what was to stop her talking about the other guests? Her job most likely didn’t pay well, but it would pay even less if she lost it.

He didn’t want to be responsible for that.

“So how about-”

Athena slammed her hand down on the desk, making Jesse flinch.

“I said no!”

“An’ I respect that! I jus’ wanted y’all to call me a cab!” Jesse managed to get out before she could shut him down again, and to both of their relief, she smacked her lips and nodded, reaching out and tapping her nails on the telephone.

“Alright, it will be around ten minutes. You can wait in the lobby if you want,” Athena said with a fake smile, extending a finger to point in the direction of the most disgusting looking single armchair he had ever seen - and that was really saying something considering the fact that he had slept on a piss and bloodstained, bedbug-ridden mattress for most of his teenage years.

Shaking his head, he winked at her, blowing a kiss from his hand as she held the headset to her ear, her voice suddenly turning professional as the person on the other end took her call. He could wait outside. 

-  
The taxi ride had been void of all casual conversation; all business and no small talk.

Jesse wasn’t sure if he was relieved or not. On one hand, he wasn’t sure he could face a conversation with Gabriel after he discovered he had cleaned him up after he had descended into a drunken mess. On the other, Gabriel didn’t seem to be interested in bringing it up; didn’t seem like he was bothered either way.

He knew he could dismiss it as simply intoxicated madness. It wasn’t like Gabriel was the first person he had thrown up on, and he was certain that he wasn’t the first person who had thrown up on his boss. After all, Gabriel spent most of his time babysitting recruits. He was definitely used to it.

Which made Jesse just like everyone else; made him the same immature burden as the rest of the recruits.

He couldn’t stand the idea that he had lost everything with Gabriel because he’d got shitfaced and vomited on him. Gabriel had stuck his neck out and vouched for him, brought him along on a mission to get him some field experience and fast-track his training and he had just… acted like a complete idiot. He’d ruined the mission, ruined whatever he had or was going to have with Gabriel, and on top of that, he’d also ruined some sheets that were probably going to come out of his paycheck.

Biting his lip, he couldn’t resist glancing over at Gabriel as they pulled up to a large building, the tablets in both their hands beeping but he didn’t care to look at his own. Instead, he kept his gaze fixated on Gabriel; on his gentle profile, the curve of his nose, the bushy facial hair and the large deep set scars on his cheek.

He had a lot of issues surrounding his sexuality, things he still didn’t understand or really care to understand most of the time, but there was the one constant that always echoed through his mind: he found Gabriel Reyes ridiculously attractive.

“Listen, McCree, when we get inside, I want you to take the people at the bar. I’m going to make my way to the back where the booths are,” Gabriel started, and Jesse nodded along, watching as Gabriel’s face moved; watched as he blinked slowly, his tongue sliding out and lingering at the corner of his mouth as he tapped his screen over and over, his nose wrinkling up in confusion briefly before he sighed and turned the tablet off. “Keep an eye on the doors. We need this information. I can’t explain it right now, but this is… so much more serious than we initially thought.”

“Yeah…” Jesse whispered, exhaling slowly as Gabriel closed his eyes and he was completely captivated. He could feel his face heat up; could feel his mind wandering and he tried to drag himself back to the moment, but his mind was already gone. He needed to do something about this, it was getting out of control. How long would it be before he ended up making a stupid mistake?

“You feeling okay?” Gabriel asked, waving a hand in front of his face and Jesse found himself nodding, turning his attention to his door.

“Yeah, yeah, totally, I’m fine,” he mumbled, clearing his throat. “I’ll take the bar. Won’t let ya down, boss.”

“Again. You won’t let me down _again_.”


	7. The Bar Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jesse revisits the bar from the previous night and runs into a familiar face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter ends at a strange point, but it seemed like the most natural place to split the chapters between this one and the next.

Jesse’s Blackwatch uniform was normally one of the comfiest things he wore. He’d broken in the fabric so it hugged his body in a way that made him forget he was even wearing clothes but as he stepped into the building, his entire outfit suddenly felt a number of sizes too small as every eye in the house was suddenly on him.

He tried to shrug it off as he broke away from Gabriel and moved towards the bar, but as he approached the omnic behind the counter, he realised he knew the look on his face. Sure, he wasn’t the best at reading omnics, but… he knew that look so well; had seen it on humans, omnics, and even once on a horse he had picked a fight with. It was a familiar look; a look that knew exactly who he was and what he was capable of.

It happened a lot. He was a man who instilled fear in everyone. Sure, he could be a bit of a joker, but at the end of the day, there was a reason he wasn’t rotting away in a jail cell and was instead, an agent of the covert operations department of a high profile organisation.

Or at least he was for now.

Taking his hat from his head, he took in a deep breath. If he did his job correctly, they couldn’t fire him or throw him away. He just needed to never make another mistake. Easy.

“Hey there,” he started, trying to sound casual as he placed his hat on the surface, leaning against the bar with a warm smile on his face. “Can I get a glass of water an’ some information?”

“Is that all you want this time? Can’t blame you, I suppose,” the omnic said softly, throwing his dish towel over his shoulder as he pulled a glass from under the bar and pulled out a small nozzle attached to a tube. “After what you put away last night, I wouldn’t be surprised if you’d vowed never to drink again. Then again, every patron says that the morning after the night before. They still return the next day, just like you have.”

Jesse caught the glass as it was slid over to him, and he didn’t miss the way the omnic looked down at his arm; at his tattoo, the small lenses in their eyes focusing briefly before they took the towel back in their hand and started cleaning glasses again.

“What the hell are you talkin’ ‘bout?”

The omnic sighed, shaking their head. “You don’t remember being here last night?”

“I don’t remember a lot of anythin’,” he mumbled, turning his attention away from the bartender to look around the club and like the omnic implied, everything did seem familiar. The dingy walls, the smell of oil and sweat. He could recall looking up human-friendly bars in the area… and this one was close to the hotel. It would make sense, but still… What were the chances that their intel would bring them to the exact same bar he had been at last night?

Unless he’d got the name of the bar from a message on his tablet. Had it been in the files? In reports? That seemed like such a rookie mistake to make, but his attention had been all over the place since he had arrived.

“Regardless of anything, I have nothing specific to say about anyone or anything,” the omnic offered, and Jesse screwed up his face, groaning loudly because of course, that made sense. If he had been here drunk, he had probably said something to the omnic; something stupid… something insulting…. Or both. Probably both.

“Really, you’re gonna be like that?” He grumbled, shaking his head as he stared at the bartender.

“Yes.”

“Not gonna give me anythin’?”

“No.”

Letting out a long, defeated sigh, Jesse placed his hat back on his head and downed his water, grimacing. He still was not used to drinking clean water on a regular basis and the hangover didn’t make it any easier to stomach.

“Listen, I really need to… do my job,” Jesse started, saliva increasing in his mouth as he felt the bile in his stomach start to rise up again. He should have eaten something; anything, but he’d been so adamant on doing his job and not annoying his boss that he hadn’t even thought about his physical state. He still didn’t have time to dwell on it. “Could you just… maybe point me in the direction of someone who could help me?”

The bartender shrugged, wiping the rim of the glass with an audible sigh, despite not having lungs and Jesse glanced up at their face just in time to see them nod over at another patron in the bar: another omnic, sat on a sofa alone, staring at a hologram dancing in front of them.

-

Between the bar and the sofa, Jesse had remembered exactly nothing from the previous night. Scanning the omnic with his tablet brought up no data, so either he hadn’t spoken to him before, or he had been so wasted that he had failed to do a basic background check on someone he met during a mission. He was praying for the latter but as soon as he took a seat on the sofa, he could tell instantly that this omnic knew him.

“I’m surprised you’re still alive after how much you drank last night, but I’m happy to see that you’re still in the land of the living,” the omnic chirped, two of the small orbs in his head lighting up. “If you can call this place such a thing.”

Jesse found himself chuckling, smiling as he turned to face the omnic, feeling at ease suddenly. There was something about them that calmed him down. Maybe it was their voice or the soothing blinking of the small lights dotted around their head. He was sure some of them were cosmetic, but it was still nice to look at regardless.

“So… I spoke to you last night?” He asked after a moment, taking in a deep breath.

“You could say that,” the omnic said, cocking their head to the side. “You said a lot of things, but I doubt they have any reason to do with why you’re here now. Is the man you came in with the one and only Gabriel Reyes?”

“What?”

“Sorry, I’m being rude,” the omnic said as they adjusted their limbs on the sofa, crossing their legs. “My name is DeeDee, and you spoke to me last night in great detail about your plans to ‘rail the commander’. Your words, not mine.”

Groaning, Jesse hung his head, his hands tight on the tablet. Of course he had run his mouth to some stranger in a bar, that was the exact kind of thing he would do and the exact kind of behaviour Gabriel was specifically trying to drill out of him.

He had to stay on mission; he needed to get the information they needed. His drunken ramblings weren’t of interest. He didn’t need to log this conversation, he thought to himself as he subconsciously let his finger drift to the button on his tablet, putting it into sleep mode.

“So listen, as I was rambling on about nothing more than fantasies, just stupid things that meant nothing at all…” He whispered, clearing his throat. “Did I happen to say anything about the events that had occurred during my day? You know, anythin’ about me being, oh I don’t know, a really cool super secret agent?”

DeeDee let out a light, robotic chuckle, leaning back. “Oh, you did mention something along those lines,” they said with a wave of their hand. “But you were mostly talking about your commander and the quite frankly disgusting things you want to do to him. At first, you seemed very adamant to not divulge his name, but at one point you left, claiming you knew exactly what you must do. Then you returned and said you couldn’t do it. It was quite amusing to see you leave and return with little memory of our conversation, much like now.”

“Did I mention piss?” He asked, shaking his head. Leaving and coming back? Maybe he had gone out for a smoke, although the bar didn’t seem to be enforcing any kind of strict no smoking policy.

DeeDee let out another laugh, nodding, all of his nodes lighting up. “Bingo. Honestly, I don’t understand why you would want to, but I suppose it’s similar to the underground oil clubs. Maybe. I’m not entirely certain. That’s not my area of expertise but I could give you the number of someone who can help you in that department if you’re curious.”

Jesse shook his head, coughing again. “Listen, my head is a bit hazy concerning the exact events of last night.”

“Oh yeah, that sounds about right. I’ve never seen anyone put it away like you did!” Deedee chirped, nodding his head frantically. “So, are you snooping around here to find out what stupid things you said and did, or are you doing your job today?”

Shrugging, he let out another long sigh. He didn’t even know what he was doing anymore. Gabriel was out of his sights, but he hadn’t come and got him, so clearly he hadn’t found any pressing leads straight away. He could indulge in a bit of small talk, after all, he was supposed to try and butter up any kind of suspect. Or anyone who might know something. Or just anyone, really. If they could communicate, then they were a potential source of information.

“Yeah so listen, about that,” he started, clearing his throat. “About the things I was saying… Do you happen to ‘member any of those things? Like, the shit I told you?”

“Oh, you just told me that you were completely and utterly in love with your commander but that you’re not gay, but that you also want to fuck him, but that he wants you to urinate on him, and that you thought you were not into that, but it turns out that you kind of are, and also that you’re kind of into men, but it’s mostly just your beloved Commander Gabriel Reyes, who you also told me had a delicious looking cock. Then you ordered some more shots, and for every shot you took, you told me a sexual thing you wanted to do to your commander, and you acted as though this was a game, but I was not participating. You were honestly terrible company, but you amused me enough until my next client came along.” DeeDee paused, tapping their finger to their chin. “This was after you returned. Getting a breath of fresh air had really loosened your tongue. I assumed you had taken some sort of drug in the back alley, you humans often do such things.”

Jesse couldn’t argue with his logic, but he doubted he had been stupid enough to take anything illegal. Still, everything was so hazy. He couldn’t guarantee he hadn’t taken something. Blackwatch had regular drug tests so there would be no hiding it. However, there were more important things to worry about. His potential failing of a drug test in the near future would be something he could deal with if it came up. 

“And… what happened then?” He asked, waving his hand to prompt DeeDee. 

“We walked you to your hotel, which you made us pinky swear not to tell anyone about, which was strange because I don’t have a little finger, and my client had lost his in a fight five years ago, but regardless, I don’t have anyone asking about you so I have no use for the information,” DeeDee continued, tapping his own knees with his fingers and Jesse couldn’t help but note that he indeed, did not have a little finger, each of his digits strangely the same length. “Anyway, we put you on the doorstep and my client told you to go upstairs and talk to your boss. I suggested you sleep it off and then discuss it. However, you just proudly proclaimed that you were, and I quote you again, ‘gonna jus’ get up there an’ give him what he’s needin’.”

Jesse nodded slowly as he dragged his hands over his face, pulling at his skin, groaning loudly before he flopped backwards. Of course he had done that. Running his mouth to complete strangers was just such a typical Jesse McCree thing to do. He shouldn’t have even been surprised; what had he expected? Going to a bar in the mood he had been in had been a rookie mistake, and one he would probably make again. 

There were just some lessons he never learnt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you can follow me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/torraroch) if you want to.


	8. The Alley

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jesse is tired of making excuses for his behaviour and he finally acts on his feelings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As I was writing this, I kept having to remind myself that Jesse is an unreliable narrator and that he has a hangover and that he shouldn't be as coherent as we all need him to be lmao

Humiliation hung over Jesse like a rain cloud, and he couldn’t shake off the feeling that he might have done more than simply throw up on his boss. He was starting to think that maybe, just maybe… he had done something really, really, _really_ stupid. That maybe he had done something he said he was going to do. That for once, he actually had lived up to his boasts and big talk. 

He replayed the morning over and over in his mind as he moved through the growing crowd in the club. Gabriel hadn’t been weird with him, he’d just been… normal. Maybe more Commander Reyes than Gabriel but it was understandable, they had a mission to do after all.

“Gabe, Gabe, I gotta talk to you!” He yelled, gesturing to a less secluded corner as he managed to get close enough to him, but Gabriel shook his head and started off in another direction. He had no choice but to follow, he needed to know what he had done; how badly he had fucked up. It didn’t matter where they talked, just that they did. 

He didn’t know when the club had filled up so much, and he found himself growing more irritated as he tried to shove people out of the way and follow Gabriel. Each time he took a step forward, it felt as though Gabriel was getting further and further away; like he couldn’t catch up at all; like he was drowning as calling out for help but no one was listening. 

Almost climbing over people and omnics, he found himself digging his spurs into feet each time he passed them simply out of spite. No one was listening to him as he asked them to move; barely anyone was registering his presence and it was becoming more and more of a struggle. He just wanted to get to his boss. 

“Gabe, listen, it’s really fuckin’ important,” he called out as he pushed through the final group and managed to grab his arm before he could escape, forcing him against the wall in a way that made no one give them a second look but the way Gabriel was glaring at him made him wish that the crowd suddenly decided they had a problem with him and just lynched him there and then.

“Boy, you better get your hand off me,” Gabriel spat, grabbing the hand from his arm like it had burnt him. The first real emotion he’d seen from the guy all day, and he felt a strange aura coming from him. Had he really done something that wrong? That kind of expression, he’d seen it so many times, hell, he’d had the exact reaction before.

“Boss, please, can I just talk to you real quick?” He asked, his tone apologetic so he could try and make amends for something he didn’t know he had done. 

Gabriel brushed himself down, grunting under his breath. “Please tell me you have something useful.”

“Yeah, no, I mean, it’s not about that,” he said as he moved closer, lowering his voice. “I need to know what happened last night. Did I do…” He paused for a moment, swallowing hard. “...anything weird? Anything bad?”

Sighing heavily, Gabriel ran his hand over his own facial hair again, his eyes looking everywhere but at Jesse before he shook his head and pushed Jesse aside.

“I need to take a leak,” Gabriel whispered, taking steps away from Jesse, and Jesse found himself rushing behind him, trailing like a lost puppy. He hated that Gabriel wouldn’t speak to him; hated that he was now only focused on the mission when before…

He wished he could turn back time and return to yesterday before he had ruined everything. If he knew he was going to fuck up this badly, then he wished to he could change his actions the night they had been in bed together; wished he could go back and do everything he had wanted to do. The consequences of doing anything with Gabriel had always seemed so great to him at all times, but if he’d just known that he was going to fuck up anyway then he would have done something; anything. He couldn’t stand the idea that they would finish their time here with Gabriel hating him for something he didn’t understand or remember. 

“You want me to come with? We could have some fun, just like back on base, just-“

“No!” Gabriel snapped, turning around with a venomous expression on his face. “You stay here and do your goddamn job.”

Jesse frowned, looking down at the floor, watching Gabriel enter the toilets out of the corner of his eye as he pulled his hat from his head and hugged it against his chest.

He knew he had made a number of mistakes over the past few days, especially regarding the mission but he didn’t deserve the cold shoulder like this – or did he? He still couldn’t remember exactly what he had done the night before. Maybe he had jeopardized the mission further, somehow. Given up intel he shouldn’t have or… 

Had he shot someone? Is that why Gabriel was so pissed at him? Messing up a meeting with a contact was one thing, but the last time he had seen Gabriel so angry was the time Jerry had shot one of the Overwatch recruits who was training with them – Amy, he could vaguely remember her name being, or perhaps Ann. It began with an A…

Reaching to his hip, he pulled out his gun, flicking the cylinder open to see the bases of six bullets staring back at him from their chambers. He hadn’t reloaded it this morning, and Gabriel wasn’t the kind of person to check his weapon for him. No, he was the kind of guy who would rant and rave at you for poor weapon maintenance, and then throw you one of his shotguns. After all, he carried two of the things around with him, probably just because of incompetent recruits.

On the other hand was the idea that whatever he had done to Gabriel last night had been so awful that Gabriel was willing to jeopardise the mission just to show the extent of his anger at Jesse. Which made more some sense, and confirmed the idea in the pit of his stomach that he had done exactly what he had told DeeDee and his one-handed client he would do; that he had officially railed Commander Reyes.

He swallowed hard, pulling at his hat as he glanced between the bathroom door and the crowd. Had he been that bad? Had he forced himself on Gabriel? No, not even drunk him would do that, but he had been angry. Had he assumed to know what Gabriel liked? If he had, that probably meant… 

All the thoughts of what he might have done came flooding into his mind, familiar ones sticking out until he was certain of the one thing he hadn’t done to Gabriel.

He hadn’t kissed him.

He couldn’t remember exactly what he had done, but he knew for certain that he had not kissed Gabriel Reyes. No matter how drunk he had got, no matter how far they had gone, he hadn’t kissed him.

He had probably fucked him but even drunk had acted like kissing Gabriel was the most repulsive thing he could ever do. He had done… Whatever he had done, and still not had the decency to kiss him; to show him that smallest bit of affection that told Gabriel that he was no longer repulsed by the idea of being with him.

It wasn’t the case though; that wasn’t the truth, even if Gabriel had taken it that way. Kissing just wouldn’t have occurred to him when he was drunk and would have only happened if Gabriel had initiated it but… Knowing Gabriel, he would have never tried to do something he thought Jesse wasn’t comfortable doing; would never have done something that might upset Jesse.

Gabriel was considerate like that.

It didn’t matter. He had fucked up, that much was beyond clear to him now but he couldn't accept that what he had done last night might have unravelled every inch of progress he had made. Stupid mistakes were his thing; Jesse McCree and sense rarely went hand in hand. 

If Gabriel couldn't see that, wouldn’t give him a chance to explain himself, then he had to force him to open his eyes. Gabriel often called him kid, called him a brat and a punk. If he acknowledged that part of his personality, then surely he could understand this. He had to be able to understand how Jesse felt and why he acted the way he had; the way he did.

Maybe it was the hangover, maybe it was the atmosphere in the club, it didn't matter to him. As he placed his hat back on his head, he found himself moving towards the closed door. Whatever was making his heart race was the same thing that gave him the courage to push past the few omnics and people that had formed around him again, and charge into the bathroom.

He didn't give himself a moment to take in his surroundings; didn't care if anyone else would witness this. If he was going to make a fool of himself then so be it. If he was unable to say what he had on his mind, then he would use the one language that would shut his boss up.

The bright fluorescent lights that hit him as he opened the door threatened to blind him, but he already knew where he was going. The stench hit his nostrils, trying to repulse him but he didn’t care. Even the sticky floor protested, clinging to his boots as he strode across the floor, but it couldn't stop him

Nothing could. 

He beelined straight for Gabriel, not caring that he was stood at the urinal. If anything, it seemed fitting that he would finally do this in such a place; at such a time. He ignored Gabriel's words, ignored the exclamation of shock as he grabbed him and slammed him into the dilapidated partition wall of the nearest stall, pinning his boss so easily before he lunged forward and pressed their lips together in a long overdue kiss.

The rough texture of Gabriel's beard made him pause; made him open his eyes but the way Gabriel was staring back at him was enough to calm him down; was enough to stop him from breaking the kiss and instead he found himself tilting his head and deepening it. He didn't miss the way Gabriel moaned, had already clocked the wetness seeping into his thigh as he pressed it between Gabriel's legs, realising that his boss had actually been taking a leak when he had stormed in.

It didn't matter, hell, after what they had already done, this was just the icing on the cake. Gabriel didn't seem too bothered as he raised his hands to cling to Jesse's shirt, tugging at his serape as he opened his lips and let Jesse push his tongue into his mouth. 

If his inexperience in this department showed, Gabriel made no indication, his hands fisting the material they found, pulling Jesse closer to deepen the kiss to the point where Jesse felt as though he was suffocating, but he refused to be the one to break the kiss. He didn’t know what he was even doing at this point, his tongue clumsily rubbing against Gabriel’s, the only time their lips parted was for him to kiss Gabriel at a different angle, switching from either side of his nose, his own hands falling to Gabriel’s cock, roughing grabbing his dick to shake it off and it was only then that Gabriel pushed him away enough to break the kiss to let out a breathy laugh, shaking his head.

“Seriously? You’re going to try and give me a hand job right now?” Gabriel asked, cocking his head to the side as Jesse stared at him, a deep red covering his cheeks and he knew how flustered he looked but Gabriel didn’t seem to mind as he smiled at him with the same warmth that had made him fall for the guy in the first place.  
That smile was everything to him.

“Uh, I was jus’, y’know, shakin’ it off… ‘cause you finished… an’ I didn’t wanna stop kissin’ you but I also felt like you didn’t want to risk someone walkin’ in on us with your dick out,” Jesse mumbled, clearing his throat as he glanced down, his hand still firmly wrapped around Gabriel’s flaccid cock.

They both looked at each other for a moment before Gabriel rolled his eyes and reached down, moving Jesse’s hand away so he could stuff his dick back into his trousers. Jesse felt like he had done something wrong; like maybe that hadn’t been the right move, but he had felt Gabriel finish against his leg and no matter what Gabriel thought about him, he actually did consider the mission and none of his plans to seduce his boss in any capacity had involved them being out in the field. He knew that being caught in such a situation could be dangerous. Kissing, he might be able to explain to someone, but if Gabriel’s dick was out then no amount of explaining that his boss had been taking a leak would save either of their asses.

“You’re a fucking terrible kisser,” Gabriel mumbled, and Jesse couldn’t help the crestfallen expression that seeped onto his face but it quickly disappeared as Gabriel raised his hand to his chin, brushing the back of his hand over Jesse’s facial hair before he ran his thumb over Jesse’s lips, smiling again. “But we can work on it.”

If Jesse could have, he would have stopped the goofy grin that appeared on his face because he knew it wasn’t the greatest look for him; knew it revealed his imperfect teeth… but this was the hand he had been dealt, and if that meant letting Gabriel see his terrible smiles, and experience his awful kissing, then that was just how it would be. It wasn’t his fault; he hadn’t had many reasons to smile in the past, nor had he exactly had many chances to practice kissing, but the look on Gabriel’s face told him that his boss had already worked that out.

No matter what he thought, Gabriel was two steps ahead of him.

“Yeah well… Your beard is really…” Jesse started, a witty retort hanging on the end of his tongue when the door behind them slammed open, two omnics charging inside and unfortunately for Jesse, he recognised both of them instantly.

Kat and DeeDee.

He was about to say something when Gabriel suddenly slipped from in front of him, both of his hands sliding to his sides to pull out his shotguns. 

Jesse went to take out his Peacekeeper in response, but at that exact moment, Kat threw DeeDee towards him and he found himself falling back against the wall as the deadweight of an adult-sized omnic fell into him. From the noise DeeDee made, the move had been unexpected to him too, and Jesse could only watch as Kat took advantage of Gabriel’s hesitation and charged past him, leaping straight through the window and out into the back alley.

Jesse could barely process it, barely noticed as he shoved DeeDee off him and scrambled to his feet to follow Gabriel but like always, he was still so far behind him. He watched as Gabriel jumped out of the window, leaving blood tipped shards of glass stuck in the frame as he caught himself but didn’t stop. It was enough to make Jesse hesitate, enough to leave him in the bathroom as Gabriel started down the alleyway after Kat.

It was enough to stop him from being in the alley as Gabriel shot off round after round and he could feel his head throbbing, the hangover begging for the loud noises to stop. Shaking his head, he climbed out of the window, avoiding the same sharp edges that Gabriel had failed to miss and he dropped to the ground just in time to see Kat draw their own weapon, one unlike anything he had seen before and he saw the hesitation from Gabriel; saw him focusing more on what the weapon was, rather than what it could do.

Acting as fast as he could, he leapt towards his boss, falling into a roll but managing to exit the manoeuvre onto his feet just in time to grab Gabriel as the weapon sounded off and shot a beam towards them both, Gabriel’s shotgun firing into the sky.

They fell together, landing against a dumpster with a thud, Gabriel shouting words at him that he couldn’t hear over the ringing in his ears. He could see Gabriel trying to push him away, trying to stand up but something was stopping him and he knew he should have been looking at Kat; knew he should have been following the way Gabriel gestured down the alley frantically, yelling so much that he was spraying his words still as Jesse’s hearing slowly came back around.

“Jesse! Go after them! Now! We need to get that weapon! Go! Follow!” Gabriel shouted over and over but Jesse found himself frozen as he looked down at his hands, the dull light making it hard to see but he knew what blood felt like; knew what it smelled like.

At first, he assumed it was his but then he saw the way Gabriel struggled to get up; saw the way Gabriel clutched his side.

The blood wasn’t his own.


	9. The Hotel Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jesse helps Gabriel recover.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this took so long to update! I hope you enjoy this chapter.

Chapter Nine  
They staggered into the room together; Gabriel leaning heavily on Jesse as they tried to navigate their way to the bed, narrowly avoiding side tables and his junk on the floor before Jesse managed to get Gabriel set down safely. Again, this was not the kind of thing he was envisioning when he thought about throwing his boss onto a bed. He had pictured rose petals and soft music, not dripping blood and grunts of pain.

Neither of them said a word to each other as Jesse tore into their bags, frantically searching for a first aid pack. He was panicking; knew he was losing his cool but the idea that he could lose Gabriel because of some stupid intel mission, because of a mistake _he_ had made was giving him heart palpitations. If only they had got the information they needed yesterday, they would have been halfway back to base by now.

Instead, he was stuck fumbling with a first aid pack as Gabriel complained on the bed, cursing as he tried to remove the layers of clothing on his upper body and failed, an exasperated groan falling from his lips as he pushed himself up on the bed.

“Give me that. Now,” Gabriel hissed, waving his hand out and Jesse hesitated for the briefest moment before he held it out to him, flinching as the pack fell open and spilt the items all over Gabriel’s stomach, making him wince again.

“Uh, you need a hand with that?”

“No,” Gabriel said under his breath as he pulled his shirt up, inhaling quickly as the fabric dragged over the gaping wound in his side, the blood on his skin sticky and dark in the dim hotel room. If Jesse could look at it under a brighter light, it would probably look a lot worse.

Still… He couldn’t stop himself from moving closer, a concerned expression on his face as he reached out only to have his hand slapped away.

“I’ve seen your field medic training reports and I’d really prefer it if you didn’t,” Gabriel grumbled as fumbled with a small packet, tearing it open to push the blue fluids out. He hated how Gabriel was right. Sure, he could do enough to stop himself from dying in a pinch, but that was just hard-earned tricks with alcohol and scraps of clothing. He didn’t know the first thing about using Overwatch’s medical technology.

So it was a learning experience, he told himself as he sat back and watched as Gabriel pushed the liquids into the weeping hole on his side.

“Are you sure we don’t need to take you to a hospital or anythin’?” Jesse asked, frowning as he watched Gabriel hiss and curse, pushing the wound together and smearing it with more of the blue stuff. He’d never been on board with some of the technology provided to them, a lot of it a bit too suspicious for his liking but Gabriel… He knew about the shit Gabriel had been put through, had seen a few files he shouldn’t have. He didn’t know exactly what it all meant, but he knew it was something serious and he knew that Gabriel was always willing to take risks, even if it put his own personal safety in danger.

“Do you really want to take me to the hospital in this state when you have a criminal record?”

“If doin’ it saved your life, then yeah,” Jesse mumbled, frowning as he made eye contact with Gabriel again, watching as his expression softened. “I’d do anythin’ for you, I mean, within reason. I ain’t gonna do some stuff… unless… Shit, I dunno - but y’know what I’m tryin’ to say, right?”

Gabriel let out a long sigh, pressing down on his wound before pulling his hand away, what had been gaping was sealed up with some kind of glue? But that wasn’t important; all that mattered to Jesse was that his boss was no longer bleeding everywhere. However, Gabriel seemed disinterested in his wound and instead was focused on cleaning the area around it, although his enthusiasm for it quickly disappeared and Jesse was left watching him wipe the same area over and over again.

“Jesse, I need to tell you something,” Gabriel started, and Jesse instantly went to interrupt, but the way his boss looked at him stopped him. Jesse found himself staring into his big, beautiful eyes, completely caught off guard by the way Gabriel was looking at him. “We should have talked about it this morning, but I just didn’t want to jeopardise the mission,” he whispered, shaking his head before laughing. “Fuck, who am I kidding here? I don’t care about this shitshow right now. The truth is that I didn’t want you to hate me or jump to conclusions like you always do. I didn’t want you to overreact before I got a chance to say my piece.”

“Yeah but-“

“See, what did I just say? C’mon Jesse, I got shot with a fucking laser, at least let me say my final words without any interruption,” Gabriel said with a smile, his tone betraying his choice of words and Jesse found himself shrugging before he adjusted himself on the bed, kneeling beside Gabriel.

Jesse didn’t want to shut up though. He felt like he knew what was coming. Maybe not the specifics, but the conversation was most definitely going to be about last night, and he wasn’t sure if he could handle it. He’d spent the whole day worrying about things he couldn’t remember, the better part of the evening terrified that his boss was going to die and now… he just wanted to sleep, but as he looked at Gabriel, he knew he couldn’t do anything but listen to him.

“I’m just going to be blunt with you about this,” Gabriel started, raising a hand to his chin to rub his facial hair before he looked directly at Jesse, a serious look on his face. “Last night, when you got back to the room, you were-“ He cut himself off as he scratched his temple before waving his hand. “Listen, you came back, and you were angry, and _beyond_ drunk. And I’ve seen you drunk a lot; you’ve said some shit to me in the past, but this time was so much different. You were… like a man on a mission, and you made it pretty clear that I was that mission and fuck, listen I shouldn’t have, but you were so… pushy, so confident and I know you were drunk and I feel like the worst goddamn person in the world, but you were so insistent and-“

“Gabe, you don’t-“

Gabriel glared at him, shaking his head. “You don’t even remember what happened. I feel like a fucking monster. You’ve been telling me how nervous and how goddamn insecure you are about what you’re feeling, and I was too weak to push you away because I’m too fucking selfish and-“

“Gabe, would you let me speak for a second?” Jesse interrupted again, placing a hand on Gabriel’s thigh, a gesture that actually made his boss stop for a moment before he nodded, his eyes burning into Jesse’s hand. “I know. I mean, I know that we… I know I fucked you. I know… Uh, I know what I did to you, an’ I can assure you that you ain’t gotta feel bad about it. Yeah, I was drunk, but drunk me just tends to have the confidence to do shit that sober me don’t.”

Gabriel rolled his eyes, pushing Jesse’s hand away. “You sound like a sorority girl. Is drunk you the person you wish you could be on a daily basis too?” he said with a mocking tone, scoffing as he looked away.

Jesse snorted, placing his hand back on Gabriel’s thigh. “Sober me managed to tell you that I love you. Sober me touched your dick that time. Hangover me managed to get up the guts to kiss you, an’ I also touched your dick again, but I ain’t certain that counts,” he said with a chuckle, shrugging again. “I know what I did, uh, an omnic at the bar helped me fill in the blanks and really, I don’t know why the fuck you’re apologisin’ after what I did to you. Honestly, I’d kick the shit outta me if I could because I never pictured my first time doin’ that with you to be like that an’ I’m sorry that I’ve ruined everythin’ ‘cause that was never my intention.”

As soon as he finished his sentence, a silence filled the air between them, Gabriel clearly pondering what had been said, whereas Jesse had no plans to dig himself any deeper into the hole he was stuck in.

Silence was safety right now.

It had never been his intention to get drunk and... He had never wanted their first time to be like that, hell, he hadn’t even got to the point where he could comfortably, or realistically, imagine their first time. Jesse wasn’t stupid, had run scenarios in his head where they had slept together, even out here on this mission, but it hadn’t been his exact plan to seal the deal in a seedy hotel.

His personal goal to accomplish during this mission had been to admit the true extent of his feelings for his boss, and get over himself enough to actually show some kind of affection to Gabriel, and he had done that to some extent. Sure, he hadn’t planned on his first kiss with his boss being like that, but he hadn’t planned on anything in this ‘relationship’ going the way it did. He thought his crush on Gabriel would never amount to anything, and now that it was actually playing out, well…. He couldn’t have imagined it like this; didn’t have the imagination to come up with this level of weirdness.

“M’also… sorry that I didn’t kiss you. I ain’t sure what I did do fully, but I know for certain what I didn’t do. I didn’t kiss you when I fucked you, did i?” He asked, not wanting clarification but needing to know regardless.

The look on Gabriel’s face told him what he needed to know, but he wanted to hear it. Wanted to hear that he had fucked his ever so patient boss and hadn’t even bothered to kiss him; needed to know that he had treated Gabriel the same way the men in Deadlock had treated each other – with no love or compassion.

“Look, Jesse, that’s just… it’s something you’re clearly not comfortable with – or weren’t comfortable with. I didn’t want to push you, didn’t want to make you do something like that in the state you were in. I’m glad we didn’t. Sex seems to be something you’re comfortable with but kissing-“

“Do you even hear yourself? You let me fuckin’ piss inside you an’ you didn’t even…”

Gabriel shrugged again, turning his attention back to his wound. “You also threw up on me and passed out, but whatever. There was never a right time for it. There never seems to be a right time for it. You find it so easy to remove yourself from what is physically occurring just because it feels good, you bypass the fact that I’m a man because you’re getting your dick wet in one way or another but every time we have even been close to kissing, I see the way you react and I understand it. Am I happy about it? I don’t know, I’m older than you, I can see something for what it is, and I’m fine with what we have. I have no plans to ever put you in a situation between us that makes you upset or resentful towards me.”

“It doesn’t-I mean, it’s not that I’m uncomfortable, it’s jus’ that…” He let out a long groan, dragging a hand over his face as he moved closer to Gabriel, shaking his head. “Look, I’ve always wanted to its jus’ that… I’d worked myself up, didn’t want to let you down an’ so-”

“You barged in on me taking a leak and thought that it was the perfect time to lay one of the most intense kisses I’ve had in my life on me?” Gabriel asked, raising an eyebrow.

“I thought you said I was a bad kisser?”

Gabriel dragged his teeth over his lower lip, tilting his head back. “You are, that doesn’t mean it was boring, and you actually got the drop on me. I didn’t expect that at all - seriously. And it takes a lot to surprise an old man like me.”

“You’re not old,” Jesse said with a soft voice. “Listen, I’ve been thinking about you almost nonstop ever since the day I met you, an’ sure, you sucking my dick after I pissed myself ain’t exactly what I had in mind, but fuck, you don’t know what that did to me; what it meant to me.” Jesse drawled, sliding his hand up Gabriel’s thigh as he moved closer, his breathing low and steady. “Then when you jerked me off in the hallway, fuck, jus’ havin’ you loomin’ over me like you did… I wanted you so bad in that moment, but… I was scared. I didn’t understand what the fuck you wanted from me.”

Jesse shrugged again, resting his hand on the top of Gabriel’s thigh as he shifted. He could feel all his boss’s attention on him; could feel his eyes boring into him, his mouth slightly parted as though he wanted to say something, but Jesse knew his confidence was up, knew this might be the only time left on the mission for him to do something more; something for Gabriel and not for himself, and he wanted to, no, needed to.

Leaning forward, he tilted his head, his other hand slowly reaching up to Gabriel’s face to cup his jaw, his thumb toying with the hair on his chin; toying with the lips he wanted so desperately to kiss again.

“I wanted to kiss…in the bathroom on base that time. I knew you wanted to as well, could see the way you kept leaning in an’ I did nothin’ ‘cause some part of me wanted it to be special. Some part of me wanted to hold out on somethin’, anythin’ so that you might jus’ had a reason to come back to me,” he whispered, moving forward a bit more, his lips ghosting over Gabriel’s as his hand moved to his crotch, pressing down on the semi Gabriel was already sporting. “What got you all hot an’ bothered, Gabe? Was it me talkin’ about us? Or is it me?”

He watched as Gabriel swallowed hard and let out a breath against his lips, his eyes darting back and forth over Jesse’s features and he didn’t know where he had mustered up this attitude, but he prayed it stayed with him for the next few moments. He needed this; needed Gabriel to know how badly he wanted him. He closed his eyes, the last thought on his mind being that Gabriel was just a man. Commander was just a title, right now, he was just Gabriel, and Gabriel wanted Jesse, not the elite Blackwatch Agent he was training to become.

Closing the gap between them, he pressed his lips against Gabriel’s, this kiss so much different than the one earlier. This time it was slow; almost gentle as he moved ever so slightly, letting their lips fall into their natural places each time they opened their mouths. This time, he didn’t dive straight in. Instead, he let his tongue occasional slide out, teasing Gabriel’s lips each time as he moved his hand on his crotch, rubbing his cock through the fabric as he continued to kiss him.

He didn’t bother to deepen the kiss, instead pulling away to press their foreheads together as they both moved slightly down the bed, Jesse lying on his side as Gabriel kept himself perched up ever so slightly, his hand sliding to Jesse’s chest as they both stared at each other, breathing heavily.

“Tell me you want me,” Jesse whispered, licking his lips as he clumsily undid Gabriel’s trousers with one hand, the rustling of his clothes so loud with only their breathing in the background - but if Gabriel had a criticism of his movements, he didn’t voice them and instead only let out a small moan as Jesse reached into his boxers and pulled out his erection. “Tell me you want me to touch your dick,” he mumbled, leaning in to kiss Gabriel again, breaking the kiss in a way that left Gabriel wanting more.

“Fuck Jesse, I want you to touch it, please, just move your hand,” Gabriel pleaded, sucking in air through his teeth as Jesse started to pump his cock, his rough hand unpractised; clumsy but it was still enough to draw a moan from Gabriel each stroke. “Yeah, just like that,” he murmured, sliding his hand to the back of Jesse’s neck, pulling him closer again and Jesse complied so easily, was so happy to move into his touches as his hand moved to his hair, his fingers raking through his locks as he pressed their foreheads again together.

“I got you, boss, don’t worry,” he whispered, his gaze falling to Gabriel’s lips, watching the way he licked them; the way he sucked them as he continued to jerk him off, his hand frantically working Gabriel’s cock, no pretence of foreplay; no teasing. He just wanted to make his boss feel good, and he knew that with his recent wound, there could be no acrobatics, nothing more than heavy petting and he was more than okay with it. Just feeling Gabriel’s dick in his hand was enough to make him groan each time he felt it pulsate in his hand, the silky flesh sliding in his grip so easily. “Fuck, you’re so hot, y’know that, right?”

Gabriel licked his lips again, opening his eyes with a smile playing on his lips. “Tell me what you want to do to me,” he muttered, fisting his hand in Jesse’s hair, pulling him closer for another brief kiss before they fell apart again, pressing their foreheads together as they panted. “Tell me what you thought about for all that time before…”

Jesse went to speak, but his words failed him as he glanced down at Gabriel’s cock; at the way fluids gathered on the tip and leaked out over his fingers as he squeezed the head, earning him a low moan from his boss, the kind of noise that made his own dick ache. Telling Gabriel what he wanted was easy; doing those things were harder, but Gabriel was only asking for words, no action.

“I thought about you, obviously,” he started, a scoff being his reward for that snipped but he could only laugh in response, slowing his hand down for a moment. “I thought about you touching me, about you fuckin’ me. Thought about getting’ on my knees an’ takin’ this into my mouth,” he said as he squeezed Gabriel’s cock, both panting heavily, Gabriel’s grip tightening in his hair, pulling him closer and he found himself moving, his forehead slipping down to Gabriel’s cheek and he couldn’t resist kissing his skin; kissing his deep scars as he continued to jerk him off. “But now I got you like this, all I can think ‘bout is how desperate you are for anythin’ I’m willin’ to give.”

He heard Gabriel swallow again, felt him tense up, and he knew he had found it just as he had before; the subject that made Gabriel hot; his weakness.

“Thinkin’ ‘bout how much of a slut my big bad boss is, how desperate he is for any kind of attention a young guy like me will give him,” he said with a smirk, nudging his nose along Gabriel’s chin as he heard him let out a deep sigh. “You want me to fuck you again, huh? You want my big dick inside you again? Is that what you need?”

Without hesitation, Gabriel nodded frantically, sucking his lip into his mouth again as he bucked up into Jesse’s hand, his own falling from Jesse’s hair to grip his shoulder. “I need it so bad, Jesse. You don’t understand, I need you to fuck me,” he uttered, his voice raw and ragged as he clearly tried to suppress his moans but failed as they fell from his lips.

“Mhm, don’t worry, I will. I’ll do it properly next time. Treat you how you deserve to be treated. Spread you open nice an’ wide, use my fingers to open you up real good, after all, you seem to like my hands,” he mumbled as he sped up his hand on Gabriel’s cock, pumping harder; faster, meeting each one of his weak thrusts with a firm stroke. “Maybe I’d even eat you out, tongue fuck you. I ain’t that good a kisser, sure, but maybe that just means my skills lie elsewhere. Would you like that? Me, holding your ass open an’ fuckin’ you with my tongue?”

“Yes, yes, fuck, of course, please,” Gabriel panted out, throwing his head back, his breathing rapid and frantic as Jesse moved his lips down to the column of his neck, kissing every inch of skin his mouth came into contact with but resisting the urge to leave a mark.

“But don’t worry, I know exactly what a submissive guy like you needs, y’all told me so many times before,” he uttered, licking his way up his neck as he reached behind Gabriel’s head with his other hand, forcing his face back towards him, flashing him a smirk. “How desperate are you to be under a man like me? How badly do you need me to fuck you, to stretch you open with my big dick an’ just pound into you? You like feelin’ used, dontcha?”

Gabriel raised a hand to his own head, rubbing his forehead as he groaned. “Keep going, don’t you dare stop,” he whispered, his Adam’s apple bobbling frantically as he gulped down air; as he swallowed unsaid words and Jesse found himself tilting his face, dipping his head down to kiss the lump in Gabriel’s throat before he moved up to his lips once again, breathing against them before teasing them slightly with his tongue.

“I always assumed that you jus’ wanted to fuck me, y’all acted like that was it at first but I can see through it, I know exactly what to give you. You need me pushing you face first into the bed, an’ just takin’ you, holdin’ you down an’ jus’ fuckin’ you hard an’ fast,” he said in a deep voice, watching as Gabriel’s eyes fluttered shut as he nodded, letting out a long moan as he fisted Jesse’s shirt and leaned closer to him, his breath so heavy; so hot that Jesse found himself suddenly at a loss for words. His hand didn’t stop moving, his eyes didn’t close and all he could do was watch as Gabriel came undone, and unbeknownst to him, his climax was enough to capture Jesse’s attention.

Jesse found himself swallowing hard as Gabriel’s hand loosened on his shoulder, his own hand slowing down, wet with proof of his boss’s orgasm. Seeing his boss come undone was something he doubted he would get used to; and seeing such a man reduced to a panting mess of moans made his balls tighten beyond belief. He wanted to see that again, wanted to see Gabriel climax whilst he was fucking him. He wanted to be the cause of him making that face; making those sounds. Knowing he could do this to his precious commander was enough to make his own cock drip within his trousers.

“So, uh, yeah, that’s… stuff I wanna do to you, I guess,” he drawled as he pushed himself to sit up, taking his hand away from Gabriel’s dick and wiping it on his thigh, and he found himself awkwardly looking around, avoiding eye contact as Gabriel reached down and pushed his flaccid cock back into his pants in front of Jesse for the second time today. “I mean, if you want me to do ‘em to you, I ain’t sure if what you say in the heat of the moment is stuff you really wanna do, or want me to do… I dunno, I’m rambling now ‘cause I’m nervous.”

Gabriel let out a slightly pained noise as he adjusted himself, his hand sliding to his side. “What are you nervous about?” He asked, not paying Jesse any attention as he looked down at his wound again, and Jesse found his gaze following, both now staring at what would be yet again another scar for the commander. “Look, what you say, or what I say, it’s not a contract but… I don’t know, I like hearing that stuff, like saying it and yeah, it’s stuff I want to do or have done to me but if it’s just words for you, that’s fine. I’m not going to hold you to it and make you eat my ass or anything like that,” Gabriel mumbled as he ran a finger around his wound, sighing heavily.

“Uh, I mean, I ain’t… against doin’ that,” Jesse admitted, turning his attention to the sheets beneath them, his fingers pressing into the fabric and tracing the light patterns on them. “I mean, if you’re into that stuff, like… I’d be happy to…”

He heard Gabriel laugh before he looked up and saw him roll his eyes, adjusting his position so he could lie down with his head on the pillows. “You wouldn’t kiss me, but you don’t even hesitate when it comes to eating ass.”

“Well, your ass don’t got a beard.”

“Oh, you’re in for a surprise.”


End file.
